A Mafia's Possession(Completed)

Chapter 69

RAPHAEL

  I could not concentrate on anything any more.  I could only focus on this fucking huge pang of guilt that stung my heart with so much aches every day.

  What the hell came over me? How did my attitude towards Nicole change to something so beastly?
Why did I have to torture and starve her?
I left her in the mercy of the enemies which surrounded my lives by locking her up in that cold cellar.

  Leila beat her up and now she lost our baby. I can only imagine the trauma Nicole is going through. Just the thought of Leila got a bomb exploding in my head.
 
  I wish I could give her a punishment worse than death. I wish I could kill her a thousand times for her betrayal.

I inflicted it all on my poor wife when the real culprits stood with me.
Fuck. Tears brewed up in my eyes and I just wanted to scream out.

  Would Nicole ever be able to forgive me? Would our marraige ever remain the same?
Would Nicole ever love me again?
Does she even love me anymore?

  Those questions clouded my mind. I was always lost in my thoughts as I tried to weigh the probability of Nicole ever forgiving me.

A husband tortured his own wife till she actually almost died---Nicole would never forgive me.

  I don't deserve her forgiveness because I myself can't believe I did all that to a woman whom I claimed I love.

  Oh Fuck. Nicole would be shattered and broken by the time she wakes.
I stared at her sleeping form, my hands softly caressing her pale fingers. She had been unconscious for up to a week.

  I clinged on to the hope that she would one day open her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes of hers.
And when she does flicker them open, I'll do all I can to win her back.
Even if I'll have to sacrifice my life in the process, I don't mind.

  As long as I die knowing that Nicole loves me, then I die a happy man.
Thomas bitter words still replayed in my ears.

  I still can't wrap my head around how I caused my unborn baby's death.
Thomas was definitely right. All this while, I thought Armani was the devil. But it turns out that I am the bigger devil because even Armani respected his wife.

He never let anyone touch his wife and go scot free. He treated her like a prized possession and actually made sure to give I and Dante the best opportunities life had to offer.

Even though Dante was the illegitimate son from his son inlaw, He still raised Dante as his own.

A pained chuckle left my lips as I thought about it all.
But I did heinous acts towards Nicole.

I ruined her and killed our baby. I know how much Nicole longed for a child and when we finally had one, I ripped our baby out of her and made her an empty and hollow soul.

"Nicole can you ever forgive me?" I sobbed, downcasting my head onto the bed.

  The guilt was ripping my heart out. The pain clogged my chest, tightening it and restricting my flow of air.

  Guilty was an understatement of how I felt. I felt like a beast, a true sinner and a murderer.
Heavens.

How would I redeem myself now? How just how? A bitter gal rose to my throat, increasing my pain.

  At that moment, the door flew open, welcoming Luca in.
I made sure Luca stayed back to treat Nicole whilst the rest of my capos and their underbosses were sent to hunt down those bloody mother fuckers.

  I don't want any of them spared. I want them all killed, wasted like animals and their bodies decapitated down to the last Fedorov, Alina.

  I don't fucking give a damn. I was going to put an end to all these and if wiping an entire family was what it took, then I'll gladly do it.