Deserve You, Not *** (Camren)

Chapter 10: To Leave or To Stay

Lauren's POV

I took the tea cups and empty plates and brought them to the dishwasher when Camila went inside to use the toilet. I saw her face when she listned to what I told her. It must be something unusual, strange, weird, or shocking for her. She was quite shocked when I told her about Henry, but she was totally blown, I guessed when she heard that Normani and I had a threesome with Henry. Probably, having sex with friends, or best friends was not her thing or even something she could not think of.

I did not know how Camila's love life was. I only knew it from the media. She got a lot of people desiring her. She jumped from one to another relationship easily. She never stayed single for more than a year. Whether they were real or fake, she surely had a lot of admirers that would line up for her anytime, anywhere. It must be easy for her to get someone she liked. Looking at her list of exes, she had many incredible people chasing her.

The list was quite intimidating, which made me never think of having her romantically. It was beyond my dream, which I did not dare to dream of. Although I was one of her big fans, and she was my favorite celebrity and my only eternal celebrity crush, I never imagined being with her. She was out of my league. I might put it that way. 

Having her ask me to work with her on the music video had been something surreal to me. I could not ask for more. It was like an impossible dream come true. I could not get any more surprised when we started to share that brief look many times during the shooting of the music video. I did not believe it that I kept telling myself that I was just dreaming or I was just delusional, thinking that the way she looked at me and the way we shared that brief look was special.

I indeed felt the connection. I felt something between us. I felt something special when our eyes met, that I never had with anyone else. I felt it, but I did not want to believe it. My smart ass or stupid ass brain telling me it was wrong, what I felt was not real. I stopped myself from thinking and dreaming of Camila until she asked me to kiss her that day. I was glad she asked me, and I kissed her. If I did not, she was not here with me today.

Working with her was surreal, sharing a kiss with her was beyond my dream, and having her here in my house at this moment was something that unthinkable. It was too good to be true, but it was real and I wanted to be real with her. I meant I did not want to keep anything from her. I would be who I was. I was not going to fake anything. How strange, weird, or bizarre I was in her eyes, I would let it be. I was not going to lose myself for somebody else even though I hoped she would accept me the way I was, especially in my sex life.

Camila knew I was into women and men. Now, she knew more that I could have sex without feeling involved, or purely sex, and have a threesome with my best friend involved. She did not say anything, but I could tell from her expression that she was shocked. She had known about this side of me. I wonder what about her. Was she into men or women, or both? Probably both. Otherwise, she would not have kissed me. I wanted to think she was not into women but only me. It made me see myself as too high. Furthermore, Could she have casual sex? Probably, she could not because she mentioned it was an intimate thing. I admitted it. I was curious about her sexuality and her sex life becuase I wanted her. 

I knew I was not her first kiss from the way she asked me to kiss her and from the way she kissed me. She was not mine either, but she was the best kiss I ever had. I could kiss her all day and all night if she let me. I was sure she enjoyed our kiss. It was not only that. She also enjoyed it when I touched her back. I knew she wore no bras, but feeling it itself made me think wild. I was quite sure I had tuned her on from our kiss in the kitchen a moment ago. If her mother did not call, I could have made her cum on that kitchen island. I was pretty sure about that.