The Issues With Science

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"YEEEEEOOOOOOOWW!" Everyone flinched at the sound of the aftermath of Kwazii finding Tweak' and Dashi's stash of candy saved specifically for the musicals they were going to watch that night.

"How about I read another dare?" Dashi called over the sounds of Kwazii's harmonious screeching.

Kwazii grew silent at once. "No, please matey, not another one." Too late. Dashi had already picked up the tablet and was beginning to scroll through it before groaning and slumping lower in her beanbag chair in a very un-Dashi-like manner.

"What? Do you have to kiss someone?" Squirt asked anxiously.

"No, worse. I think this 'Oxygenitition' person is about to doom us all."

"Who-?" Tweak asked as Dashi began to read.

"From @Oxygenitition", I dare Shellington to let Kwazii make a paper-mache volcano *pause for 10 seconds* AND THEN HE HAS TO CLEAN IT UP."

"Oh no." Squirt buried his head in his tentacles, "He's gonna blow us all up."

"Shellington Jr, by 'us' do you mean everyone on the Octopod or the whole world?" Tweak asked, wincing at the thought of the destruction the "experiment" would bring.

"With Kwazii doing it, the entire universe ought to be afraid." Shellington grumped. He had just cleaned the lab that morning, and he would undoubtedly have way more cleaning to do.

"Dammit, Dashi, did you have to pick that one?" Tweak exclaimed.

"I'm sorry; I picked it randomly. Do you think I WANT to leave Kwazii in the lab unattended?"

"Yarr, enough chatter, mateys! Kwazii leaped up from his seat, laughing enthusiastically, "There's science to be done!"

"Science or mass genocide? That's the question." Tweak muttered grouchily at the pirate's retreating back.
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The kids peeked their heads into the lab fearfully before immediately ducking back into the safety of the hallway. Kwazii was bustling around, singing a rather decent song that was being butchered by what sounded like the screech of wheels that hadn't been oiled in eons.

"What's he doing?" Pinto asked, unable to see over Squirt's head as all his friends winced.

"It appears that he's accidentally glued his paw to a piece of paper." Squirt didn't know whether to laugh or have a nervous breakdown at what was currently unfolding in front of his eyes. 

"Should we run?" Koshi asked.

"Or fire my gun or leave it be." Jane finished for her with a clumsy nine-year-old attempt at a wink.

"There is no beat, no melody." Koshi took up the Hamilton reference with a more coordinated ten-year-old attempt at a wink.

"Burr, my first friend, my enem-" Pinto decided he couldn't refuse a Hamilton reference.

"RUN!" Squirt called out to his friends as not only did Kwazii's volcano erupt, but the whole thing blew up in a million pieces as well. Once the coast was clear, all four little ones crept closer to the lab and instantly recoiled at the damage. Every surface in the lab was covered in red froth. Little black scratches that looked suspiciously like scorch marks decorated the walls. Puddles of false lava dotted the room, and scraps of paper mache floated around the room like snow. 

"Shellington's got a lot of work to do." Pinto announced quite needlessly, and no one could disagree.
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The first time Shellington saw his beloved lab a papery mess, dripping with suspicious red liquid, he nearly fainted, but once his shock soon became annoyed acceptance that with Kwazii in the lab, this was one of the more favorable outcomes. So with a tiny groan, Shellington put his gloves and a hazmat suit on for good measure and got to cleaning.

An hour later, only one wall and the lab table had been cleaned, but the whole rest of the lab was still a dumpster fire.

"Shellington?" Squirt shuffled into his room with his friends following, ""May we please help you clean the lab?"

"That would be lovely, thank you, lad." Shellington muttered, distracted by why on Earth there was a chunk of paper stuck to the ceiling.

"We have a lot of work to do." Squirt commented at the sight of the Kwazii level of destruction that went on as far as the eye could see. And for the first time since Kwazii was allowed in the lab, Shellington smiled.

"That we do, wee yin."

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