B̶l̶e̶e̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶| 𝙆𝙞𝙢𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙮

|Hated myself for loving you|

Third Person POV

"Hey Kid, Are you okay?" Porsche nudged his little brother who has his eyes stuck at his laptop; not blinking.

Porchay was startled at his brothers movement and quickly closed his laptop preventing his older brother from seeing what he was watching.

"Y-yeah, Hia? Why are you here?"

(A/N: Hia means brother in Thai if you have Chinese ancestry)

"I was checking up on you, You have been like this ever since that day..." Porsche voice started to trail off as he realised what he was about to say.

Chay looked down.

Porsche was cursing himself for not being able to contain words inside his thoughts.

"Been like what, Hia?" Chay dared himself to ask.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't control my mouth. Don't bother about it Chay, You have all the time to move on. I'll always be here for you. You know that, hmm?" Porsche said sitting next to his brother and patting him on the back.

Chay didn't reply, he nods but he looks very sympathetic right now.

Porsche knew what happened between his brother and Kim. Even him was angry when he knew that Kim only used his brother.

But he tried his best not to get the anger get on the best of him. He didn't want his anger towards Kim affecting his brother.

His only relative besides his mother.

He doesn't want his brother to get hurt. It breaks his heart to see Porchay looked like he was broken inside and out.

But that's love, isn't?

Porsche completely understood this feeling from Chay—The feeling of tremendous loss and emptiness.

He had felt this before with Kinn

But even though they were brothers, Him and Porchay still has differences.

Porchay was younger than him. He still has a lot to learn and know.

There are times he wanted to interfere with his younger brother's love life but he feels like he shouldn't.

'Because this is something they settle for themselves'

Porsche always thought to himself.

For the past months, everytime Kim would go to the main family's house for a meeting, Chay would always excuse himself and go to his room.

It was then when Porsche knew what happened between Kim and Chay, when Khun slipped at his words one time they were talking.

There was that one time when Porsche had enough and was about to land a fist in Kim's Jaw when-

"Anyways, Venice is going here later since Khun begged Pete to take him here, I'm sure he would like to see his uncle." Porsche said trying to uplift Chay's Mood.

Chay nodded.

"I will Hia, but you can go first I'm still finishing something" Chay forced a smile.

Porsche smiled at his brother and pat his head. He walked away peacefully.

Little did Chay know, Porsche knew what he was watching.

🎶These bruises and wounds fractures on my bones🎶

🎶Tryna fix it all but I failed all alone🎶

🎶But just to be with you, just you lying close🎶

🎶I can see the scars fade away on their own🎶

He was listening to Kim's Why don't you stay? English version.

He unknowingly clicked it when it appeared in his YouTube inbox.

Yes, even now, his notifications from Kim's YouTube account is still on.

It's not that he wants to get updated by Kim's songs, but he hoped, he still hoped that his songs were about him.

He listened until the last verse of the song, he didn't realize that tears were now spilling from both his eyes.

He wanted to move on from him, from Kim.

But what can he do? His heart betrays his mind when it comes to Kim.

He finished listening to the song and took off his headset. He wiped his tears and stared blankly at the ceiling.

A thought then came to his mind in which he opened a drawer which is next to him.

He took out a Polaroid and stared at it intently wondering why he still kept it. For all those months he could've thrown it away, he couldn't

It was the Polaroid in which he wrote and kept the moment he realized he sees Kim more than as an Idol.

Hated myself for loving you💔