Breaking Down ➳ m.n.z.

Nineteen

Chapter 19
Maddie's POV

"Today is the day we remember all of the lives we have lost in this single year of suffering. One year ago today, I heard the music that once danced alongside my ears die out. The night turned dark as hell, and what I believed was my new best friend, silence, surrounded everyone in that car. If that silence had continued, maybe they would still be here today and I would not be speaking to all of you in a cemetery where I am surrounded by the people in that accident. But instead, in that moment, my life flashed before my eyes, and when I awoke I no longer faced the world I thought to have been safe, I instead faced the real world I had long ago shut myself from in an attempt to escape the realities of it. I believed this new world installed fear, hatred, and death into the body I once controlled. And I ran. I ran as far from it as I could go.

"This new world brought me the deaths of nearly everyone and everything I loved. And now, my six best friends lay to rest amongst us. But through this tragic year, I have been taught that even though they are not here, they are here.

"Within the year since the crash, Dance Moms was cancelled. And even though my life and my friends lives are no longer being displayed to the world through a television screen, the people who loved the show and loved all of us are here to express their sadness due to the loss of Brooke and Paige Hyland who were both killed yesterday at 1:08 a.m. while driving to the airport together. As tragic as it is that the two beloved sisters are no longer here on earth amongst us, their deaths give us the oprotunity to remember all of the lives lost since the car accident that occured one year ago today.

"My sister, Mackenzie Frances Ziegler was the first to loose her life to the accident. She was a spunky and energetic twelve year old girl who loved loving others, and it is because of her that I now have hope. Not many know this, but Kenzie was battling for her life with acute leukemia the day she passed away. You must also know that even though today is the day I lost my little sister to the world, it is also the day the doctors she trusted her life in gave up on her because of her illness. They did not stop the surgery that could have helped her to still be with us today because there was nothing more they could do to save her, they stopped her surgery because one of them believed my little sister who taught me more than anyone I know, would die less than a week later despite the accident. It is because of that doctor she is dead. Although, the one thing that did not die with her is the ability to be gracious and have humility that she possessed within her. Today is the day that marks the one year anniversary of my little sister's death, but it is not the day that marks one year since her amazing spirit died because that is not dead. She is always with us because she remained strong when others did not. Even though Mackenzie was not in my life forever, I was forever in hers and I have faith that I am as much in her heart as she is in mine.

"Kendall K Vertes, Chloe Lukasiak, and Nia Frazier also lost their lives as a result of the accident. Despite the fact that their deaths were not a direct result of the accident like Mackenzie's death, we bring remembrance to their lives that were cut too short as well. Kendall passed away at 6:28 p.m. due to the major complication of heart failure, however her heart never truly stopped because the love and light she possessed within that organ lives on in every single one of us.

"Like Kendall, a part of Chloe is within everyone. Chloe had enough wisdom to teach the entire world that you do not need an average life span to fulfill all you want to do. Chloe did not have an average life span but she made every moment count.

"Nia Frazier was another to loose her life. As a result of the accident, she lost half of her left leg. The emotional stress caused a tear in the family and Nia's mother moved out of the house with no word of where she was going, however she returned to her family after a month of being gone. Sadly, seven months after the accident Nia fell ill. She battled against pneumonia for two weeks before it took her life. In honor of her daughter, Holly created a foundation entitled Dancing for Those Who Cannot which is a benefit concert put on twice a year to raise money for amputees like Nia.

"As we are gathered here today, we are here to not only remember the lives of Brooke and Paige Hyland, we are also here to remember the lives of the four other girls that were lost in the battle that began one year ago today. For a long time, I thought I had lost my life as well, and in a way, I did. I shut out my emotions because I was afraid of what they would bring. I was afraid of the tears and the screams. But in reality, I was more afraid that if I lost anyone else that I love then I would be alone. If I had no emotions, I would never love, and thus I would never be alone. However, loosing my six best friends has only given me hope for the future. I have hope because of them, and that hope enables me to create a future for all of them. They have entrusted me to live the rest of their lives for them, and I will do everything in my power to do so. I have not lost them to the accident, because they were never lost, I was lost in the make believe world I had surrounded myself in. And when that world cracked one year ago, I was set on the idea that the real one I was opened up to was no where near as good as the fake one I had created. I never gave the real one a chance, and now that I have, I have seen it is far better than the fake because it enables me to live freely. There is no such thing as no emotion equals no more pain because there will always be pain. Trust me, I know pain. The only thing no emotion gives you is a dark and fake world. But having emotion has given me hope. I have hope and that is all I need to live the life my best friends are no longer able to live."

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