CRAVING FOR YOUR LOVE

CHAPTER 30 : DARD PAR MARHAM

word count: 1548

dated: august 03, 2022

days passed and the things were not as it was before.. paltan has already gone back after the party was over.. sidsa were staying in the academy.. as sanju had to operate an important mission from deolali.. while sid insisted to stay in the academy for his monu bro.. he cant leave his monu bro like this so he requested to the higher authorities for his transfer from bundelkhand to deolali excusing that the work load was more in deolali branch of saf so a new trainer was required.. so now sid will be giving training in deolali only..

taking about monami.. she was trying her best to ignore karan.. she had been avoiding him since the party incident.. karan was not liking it at all.. he tried million ways to talk to monami but all in vain.. he even asked sid.. but he didnt got any proper answer from him as well.. now he was getting worried of her strange behavior with him.. she was the same monami for everyone but for karan.. she used to behave as if karan dont exist.. monami by now had got a gud control on her emotions.. even she was not happy with the way she was behaving with karan.. she used to punish herself everytime she behaved badly with karan.. but according to her it was necessary she wanted karan to hate her.. she wanted to create a distance between karan and her for sake of karan happiness which she think was with his wife and she didnt wanted to be an obstacle in his happy married life..

monami was sitting in her room talking to herself..

monami- nhi monu.. tu kamzor nhi padh sakti.. tujhe pata hain na yhh kitna zaruri hain.. karan ki khushi ke baare main soch.. par.. par main kya karu main usse iss tarah se hurt nhi kar sakti.. jab main usse ignore karti hu toh mujhe acha nhi lagta.. but u dont have any option.. tu karan ki khushiyon ke beech nhi aa sakti.. u have to make him hate u.. tujhe distance create karna hi hoga apne aur karan ke beech.. lekin.. lekin jo aaj hua woh bhi toh sahi nhi tha na.. maana mujhe usse door rehna hain.. par aaj.. aaj maine usse dhaka maar diya.. i pushed him away.. jo haath karan ko pyaar karte the aaj unhi haathon ne karan ko dhakha maara.. jiski wajah se usse chot lag gayi.. iski saza toh inn haathon ko milke rahegi..

she remembers how in morning when karan came to talk to her and hold her by her wrist.. she pushed him and he dashed into the table which was placed at backside and got a deep cut on his forearm by the pointed corner of the table.. a lone tear escape from her eye as she can feel the pain of that cut which he got bczz of her.. so she lit the candle.. and kept her hand on flame.. her hand was burning with the hot flame.. it was hurting her.. tears were dropping from her eyes.. but she has still kept her hand on flame and was not withdrawing it bearing the pain.. she has closed her eyes tightly to help her bear the pain.. but then suddenly she felt a tug on her hand.. someone pulled her hand from the flame.. in reflex she opened her eyes to see who it was.. yes it was karan.. karan was looking at her with blood shot eyes.. anger and pain was visible in his eyes..

karan shouted- pagal ho gayi ho tum.. yhh kya karne jaa rahi thi..

but monami didnt said anything and diverted her gaze.. karan hold her shoulders tightly and made her look towards him..

karan again shouted- dimaag kharab ho gaya hain tumhara.. have u lost it.. (he hold his burnt hand and said..) kya hain yhh.. haan.. what is this monami..

but she was silent again..

karan shaked her - tumse baat kar raha hu main.. samjh main aata hain.. ho kya gaya hain tumhe.. baat nhi karni toh matt karo.. par aise harkate.. haath jala liya apna.. hosh main ho.. do u even realize what have u done.. choti bachi nhi ho tum..

he was continously scolding her.. but she was still avoiding his eye contact.. her eyes were numb.. tears falling from her eyes.. after venting out his anger on monami.. he was now little calmed.. anger in his eyes was now replaced with pain and concern.. he took a deep breathe in order to calm himself further.. his eyes now felt on her burnt hand again.. tears collected in his eyes seeing that burnt hand.. he quickly moved towards drawer and brought ointment from the first aid box.. he sat beside her on bed..

karan- dikhayo mujhe.. (saying so he pulled her hand in his hand.. ) thoda sa jalega but jald hi aaram mil jayega..

saying so he started applying ointment on the burnt marks.. he was doing it very firmly so that she dont feel any pain.. as he was buzy in his work.. monami was staring at him continously.. she could see love and concern for her in his eyes.. as he was done with applying ointment.. he started blowing air from his mouth on the burn marks.. this was sending shivers in her body but she was also feeling relived.. he got up from bed.. placed the ointment back in drawer.. sat beside her again and hold her hands..

karan in calm and concerned voice - ab batayogi yhh tumne kyu kiya.. pata hain main kitna ghabra gaya tha..

monami - i am srry.. (she said making a puppy face..)

karan cupped her face- its ok.. par aage se aisa matt karna.. jab tumhe chot lagti hain na toh dard mujhe hota hain.. tumhe acha lagega agar mujhe dard hoga.. (he asked very softly.. to which she nodded her head in a no..)

karan now forwarded his hand towards her.. monami was confused but karan stated..

karan- promise me.. aaj ke baad khud ko kabhi hurt nhi karogi.. (he said in most convincing way..)

monami placed her hand on his and said - i promise.. aage se aisa kabhi nhi karungi..

karan just smiled.. now again he cupped her face and asked..

karan - ab batayo kya baat hain??

monami was looking at him confused..

monami- k..ka.. kaunsi b.. baat..

karan- dekho monami dont act like jaise tumhe kuch pata hi nhi hain.. i know koi toh baat hai..

monami- b.. baat.. koi bhi baat.. n.. nhi hain karan.. (she said crossing her finger..)

karan- monami tum ache se jaanti ho mujhse jhoot nhi bol sakti.. toh try bhi kyu karti ho.. (he said a little louder but still in a calm voice.. he hold her hand which was behind her with fingers still crossed and showed it to monami.. monami knew ki uska jhoot pakda gaya hain but woh sach bhi nhi bta sakti..)

monami in loud tone- maine kaha na koi baat nhi hain.. ab tum jao yahan se.. (she said not meeting his eyes..)

karan- yhhi.. yhhi baat.. tumhe ho kya gaya hain monami.. party ke din se dekh raha hu tum mujhe ignore kar rahi hu.. baat karne jaata hu toh bahana bana ke chali jaati ho.. aur agar kuch puchta hu toh apni aankhein fer leti ho.. hua kya hain yhh toh batao.. (now he kept his hand on her and said..) dekho monami agar koi baat hain toh feel free to tell me.. but plzz iss tarah toh matt karo mere saath.. tumhara yhh strange behaviour its affecting me.. more than that its hurting me.. mujhse koi galti ho gayi hain kya jo tum mere saath aise behave kar rahi ho.. agar hui hain toh i am really really srry.. (he said holding his ears..) i promise main repeat nhi karunga.. but plzz mujhse baat karo..

monami in mind- karan tumse koi galti nhi hui hain.. tum kitne ache ho.. bina galti ke hi maafi maang rahe ho.. maine tumhare saath pichle kuch dinon se kitna bura behave kiya par tum.. tum toh abhi bhi kitne pyaar se baat kar rahe ho...kyu tumse meri takleef nhi dekhi jaati.. kyu mujhe dard main dekh ke tumhare muh se aa niklti hain.. kyu tum mere itna bura bartaav ke baad bhi meri itni fikar karte ho.. kyu karan kyu.. tum dil ke itna ache kyu ho.. shayad yhhi wajah hain ki main tumse itna pyaar karti hu aur naa chahte hua bhi tumhari taraf baar baar khichi chali jaati hu yhh jaante hua bhi ki yhh galat hain..

karan - monami.. monami.. (he said loudly..) ab kuch bologi bhi.. kahan kho gayi..

this broke monami chain of thoughts.. she looked at karan.. took a deep breathe and then..

so aaj ke liya bus itna hi.. ab socho ki aage kya hoga.. how was the part do tell me.. aur kya lagta hain monami karan ko bata degi ki actual wajah kya hain.. part acha laga ho toh vote and comment karo bhar bhar ke jisse mujhe motivation mile.. and yes follow bhi kardo mujhe.. stay tuned for next part.. tab tak ke liya horn ok tata bye bye rab rakha..

jasmine signing off..