We Broke

f o r t y

AN-

I'm back.

Liam and I have made up.  He knows everything.  Everything is fine for now, so yup, I'm back with positive creativity!   

I lie in my bed that night, sorting out everything's thats happened.

Charlotte's dead.

My parents were murdered.  By Liam Smith.  Whom I met.

My parents are apparently criminals.

Charlotte's and my parents are connected in some sort of way.  Could be an affair of some sort.

Charlotte was investigating my mother.

My thoughts are so jumbled out that I jump out of bed and walk about to the messy living room that's littered with documents.  I start to stuff everything back in, not caring if stuff folds or wrinkles.  

At this point, I'm ready to drop this in the police station anonymously.

I'm done.

This feeling- the feeling like I have some sort of commitment, it's killing me.  Especially because it's the last of Charlotte I have left.

But before I can put the first wad of papers back into the envelope, I notice a small leaflet that I hadn't taken out before.

It's a letter.  From Charlotte.

Dear Peter,

Well, I've taped a small part of this letter to the envelope so that you'd see this last.  Or even see it at all.

Hopefully the tape won't wear out before you find this.  On the other hand, if the tape does wear out, save this letter for when you are angry.  That's when you know it's right to read this.  

I know you're confused.  I know you're angry.

I know that you think that I became friends with you just to find out about your mother.

Read on.  Please.   

To be honest, when I found out you were the son of the woman I saw in the picture, I will admit I was curious.  But I really, really meant every word I said.  Not like I said much or anything.

Gosh, I'm trying to be cheesy but I can't.

I think our friendship was messed up.  It's just full of these ugly cracks that won't let us fit together.  A tiny chip missing.  

There's always been some sort of romantic feel between us, and we know it, but we also know we can't be together.  I know some people think we'd be good for each other.  We know we can find someone else suitable for the either of us.  

I'm writing this after the kiss.  After your anger outburst.

Anything romantic that came out of us, it was still memorable, just something that we should forget, to be honest.

Anyway,  there's stuff in here that you're trying to figure out.  

Here's what I've figured out from everything I've collected.  But it's not the truth.  It's my theory.  So don't go on and start believing everything I'm about to write.

My father had some sort of obsession with your mother.  Then when Liam Smith killed your parents, especially your mother, he got angry.  Maybe that's why his file was ripped up.  I'm guessing he was hired to prosecute Smith without realizing what he had done.  

I think it was some sort of affair.  I know, I know, it sounds disgusting.  

I don't know.  I seriously don't know.  I'm hoping it wasn't an affair.   That would make stuff complicated between us.  

Now-

Smith.

I know you met him.  You hate him.  I know.  But when I heard his story from his side, you have to believe him.  He's changed for the better.  And not to mention, he's given me those Costco cups so I could get refills for free.  

You know, I've forgiven everyone who's done stuff to me.  And that took a long time.  I did it because I realized I'm going to die soon, and that I don't want to die with hard feelings.  Because that's what I've been half of my life.  I don't want to die as the hard Charlotte.  I want to be the 13 year old Char again.  At least I did.  I wanted to be her, when I realized that I couldn't.  I'm simply too broken.  

But I can try.

I can forgive, I can feel, I can live again.  It feels free.  Not to hang that metal curtain around anymore.  And I have you to thank you for.  

So forgive Liam.  He's a good man now.  He's realized what he's done.  I'm sure you read his letter.  

I'm running out of paper, and I've want to eat something.  Thanks in advance for letting me live here with you.  This will likely be my last letter to you.  I can tell something's bubbling up beneath the surface, and I can feel it under my feet.  I'm gonna die soon.

Thank you. 

Thank you so much.  You've saved me once.  But then you saved me from my soul.

You've given me more than you can imagine.  You've showed me hope.  

I like being friends with you.  I liked it.  

So here's my final wish to you-

Figure stuff out.  There's stuff in here that I haven't really gone into.  Half of this stuff is mostly things that were picked from the trash, so some things won't make any sense.  But hopefully, you'll find stuff that'll  serve justice.  

-Charlotte

Oh Charlotte.  You didn't get your justice.

I forgive Charlotte instantly.  All the hard feelings I felt about 2 hours ago have faded away as fast as my heart could beat.  

But forgiving Liam Smith- the thought itself makes me want to vomit.  

But the thought of forgiving my parents makes me want to die. 

I used to think it was nothing.  That it was something to be forgotten.

Because no one really knows what they've done to me.  It's happened once, and I'll never, ever forget it.  I've always wondered why they did it, but now I do.

I've never told anyone.  Not one person.  

They say everything happens for a reason.  I guess it really does.