t h i r t e e n

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By the time I had explained my little story, Peter was trying to hold tears back.

I looked at him, touching my cheeks, realizing there were not even one bit damp.

I hated myself for it.  I was so numb.  I was so inhumane to everything.

"You know, our stories are kinda similar," he said, after he had calmed down a little.

I nodded, even though there was nothing to nod about.

"Kids!  Come down for dinner!" a voice called.

Peter helped me down the stairs, almost toppling over the railing.  We let out a small laugh, sitting down at the table.

I instantly felt out of place.

I mean, who was I to be sitting at this table?  Sure, Peter put up a great argument, but I-

I could have just hobbled away, minding my own business.

But here I was.  Intruding and eating at this family table.

A family I wasn't part of.

"What are you waiting for?  Eat your food," Peter joked.

Sergeant Madden was currently chasing down someone, so it was only Peter, his adoptive mother, and me.

I shoveled down the food, excusing myself, trying to be polite.

I frantically ran to the bathroom, immediately collapsing onto the floor.

I had to get out, this wasn't good.  It wasn't good for anyone, me, Peter, his family.

Sure, I would be pretty safe here, but to put Peter in this type of spider web would be something I'd never forgive myself for.
And I've done lots of bad things.

I mentally counted how much people were after me, trying to reason with myself.

Child Services.

Bing.

Murderers. 

People.  People I don't want to think about.

Oh, I forgot Trevor. 

I pulled the hairs on my head, slowly rising to my feet.  I glanced at the mirror. 

The reflection.  The reflection was something I was not prepared to see.   I hadn't seen myself clearly in such a long time.

My blue eyes were swollen, one of them almost shut.  My hair was long and tangled, the ends shattered.  My face and body were littered with purple bruises, my arms scarred.   I looked totally lifeless.

I was scared of myself.

I was really, really scared.


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