Camp Camp OC insert (Harrison x OC x Preston)

Quartermaster Appreciation Day

Quartermaster was suspended from the fan, tied up, while the kids threw stuff at him and laughed.

David kicked open the door and walked in angrily.

"All right, I've had it up to here with all of you!" David said sternly as he measured his hand to his stomach. "And I didn't even think that was possible!"

"What?!" Max asked as Quartermaster continued to spin around.

"This is the 4th time this week you've all been rude to our dear, dear Quartermaster!" David wailed. "Do you think he likes being suspended from the ceiling against his will?"

"Do not speak for my interests." Quartermaster mumbled.

"I think it's high time you treated him with respect!" David said as his fist met his palm.

"I mean, we left his pants on!" Nikki said.

"Come on, kids! This is shitty!" Gwen said, slowing the fan. "Even by your standards!"

"Which is why today is no longer Wednesday!" David announced. "But the first ever Quartermaster Appreciation Day! AND Wednesday!" The kids all groaned. "Now, I want each of you to go out and find - or make - a gift that truly exemplifies your love and admiration for our hard-working groundskeeper!"

"I have given you nothing to revere." Quartermaster mumbled as he slowly spun around. "I will betray you all when the opportunity arises." David cleared his throat.

"Quartermaster, to try and show you just how much I care about you-"

"You'll be first." Quartermaster stated.

"-I went out and found the best gift I could think of!" David exclaimed. "Your last living relative! Well, the last one the government knows about!"

"You did what now?!" Quartermaster asked angrily.

"Come on in!" David called out as the doors opened and the kids gasped. Standing in the doorway was a person who looked just like Quartermaster, but without the mustache.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Neil whimpered.

"Is that-?" Max asked.

"Yeppers!" David answered. "It's the quartermaster's quartersister!" Preston puked. "Well?"

"YOU GODDAMN BITCH!" Quartermaster yelled. "I TOLD YOU TO STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

"YOU CAN'T CONTROL MY LIFE!" Quartersister yelled back. "I DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT!" David stepped between them and held them back.

"Uh, Gwen, what is happening?!" He asked.

"No clue, but if the Kardashians have taught me anything, I think we can make a TV show out of it!" Gwen exclaimed.

"I'LL KILL YOU THIS TIME, WHORE!" Quartermaster yelled. "I DON'T MISS TWICE!"

"We can definitely make a TV show out of it!" Gwen stated.

Quartermaster and Quartersister argued loudly while the kids held them back from each other.

"David, what were you thinking!?" Max yelled.

"I don't know!" David answered. "I thought reuniting long-lost family members was a thoughtful and sweet idea!"

"I mean, didn't you do any background checks?" Neil asked. "Ask her any questions?"