Teach me to trust

62. Kill me

I finish slipping my shoes on before grabbing my bag and heading out the front door, making sure it's locked behind me and walking over to Nate who stands looking over the railing and into the sea below us.

"Ready when you are" I call out, putting my phone into my bag and stopping beside him, smiling up at him when he turns to look at me, eyes trailing over my form and a gentle smile on his tanned face.

"You look stunning. I like you in white, brings out your tan" he leans forward to kiss me, "Let's go get some food, shall we?"

He grips my hand tightly in his as we walk, him swinging our hands between us and he seems to have a bounce in his step, a smile on his face that doesn't seem to have moved since this afternoon.

"You're very happy" I point out, watching the dimples appear in his cheeks before he glances down at me, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"I am very happy" he leans over to kiss me on the side of the head, "it's nice to hear how you feel about me. I know you don't find it easy, so it means a lot when you do say it"

I suddenly feel guilty at the realisation that I'm not very forward with the way I feel towards him, it's often him initiating any conversation about feelings or any kind of affection, especially in public. Even sexually I struggle to find the confidence to initiate, and I realise how good it makes me feel to know how attractive he clearly finds me.

I squeeze his hand, "I'm sorry I'm not more outward with my feelings. You mean a lot to me and I'm sorry I don't show it more" I kiss the top of his arm, smiling at him when I lean my cheek on his arm,

"You don't need to apologise. I love you the way you are"

"What time are we booked in for food?" I ask, looking around the darkening path along the beach,

"7" he answers, pulling out his phone to check the time, showing me the time, quarter past 6 bright on his screen.

I dart my eyes around and note that we seem to be the only ones around, the nearest buildings aren't even visible, and the beach is dark, covered by shadows not quite reached by the dim lights lining the walkway. I turn towards the beach and pull Nate behind me, laughing to myself when he blindly follows,

"Where are we going?" he asks, still no hesitation in his steps and I simply tug on his hands and pick up my pace onto the sand and towards a high wall, palm trees lining the sides and providing the perfect amount of cover.

I stop us when we reach the perfect spot and turn to Nate, rising on my toes and pressing my lips to his, hands grasping either side of his neck. He doesn't hesitate to kiss me back, arms wrapping around my back and tugging me into his chest, holding me tight while he pushes his tongue into my mouth.

He groans into my mouth at the contact, one of his hands slipping down and grabbing my ass cheek in a tight grip, our breaths heavy and hot between us and I bite down on his lower lip before pulling away.

His breathing is heavy and we keep our eyes locked while I drop to my knees, smiling up at him and catching my bottom lip between my teeth. I lift my hands to his shorts and flick the button open, sliding the zip down and I'm about to pull his shorts down over his hips before his hands come down to grasp my own.

"You don't need to do this" he tells me, and I shake my head at him before pulling my hands out from underneath his own, gripping the waist of his shorts,

"Do you want me to do this?" I ask, laughing when he nods enthusiastically,

"Baby, if I ever say no to that then I want you to kill me"