Teach me to trust

25. Saving me

After we'd all eaten, a tired silence fell over the room. My stomach is so full I feel like I could burst, rubbing it with my hand and leaning back on the other, heaving a deep breath.

I catch Marc's eyes across the room, that curious glint still there but he keeps his mouth closed. I haven't told them any details but I can still feel a slight level of understanding from them all, the fact that they never pushed me to explain tells me all I need to know about the friends I seem to have made.

I check the time on my phone and realise it's around half past 7 now, laughing at how tired everyone looks when it's so early in the evening. Nate hears me beside him, turning to look at me in question and I just hold my phone up to show him the time and nodding to the drooping eyes around the room.

He realises what I mean, and a smirk rises on his face, shaking his head and chuckling under his breath.

A knock on the door twists our faces in confusion and all eyes fall to me, but I'm just as confused as everyone else. Unless Sam has decided to pay me a visit to check on me, I can't think of who else would be at the door.

I lift myself off the floor with great effort, shuffling towards the front door and pulling it open and my heart drops when I see the face smirking at me from my front step.

"Hey babe" there's a tone to his voice that makes my skin crawl.

How the hell did he find my house.

I feel nauseous and I know my face is pale as I look at him, and the sickness is replaced with anger when he speaks his next words,

"Aren't you going to invite me in sweetheart?" and he moves his head to look in my front door and I step in front of him to block his view into my space.

"Don't call me that. Are you fucking deluded? What on earth makes you think I want you in my house" I spit the words at him and see the way his eyes change, the cold look he's giving me is filling me with a sense of dread.

"I think you need to watch your tone with me" he leans towards me as he says this, calm and collected like he hasn't a care in the world.

"Let's not forget who made you the person you are. I can tear you down in seconds" he snarls at me and before I can reply his hand comes up to grip my chin with a bruising force, clamping my mouth shut.

"Everything that ever happened with us has brought you here. Aren't you so grateful I gave you the opportunity to come here and make this life for yourself?" and he sounds like he genuinely believes what he's saying.

I can't believe the words that are coming out of his mouth right now. He genuinely believes that everything he ever did to me has helped me. Like I didn't spend countless nights alone, crying until I was sick. Like I didn't lose unhealthy amounts of weight because I physically couldn't eat after our countless breakups.

I snap out of my reverie, the shock caused by his grip on me and his sharp words and I shove him back with all the force I can muster. He stumbles away from me and I know my jaw is probably red from his grip, but I really cannot bring myself to care when he's standing in front of me trying to convince me that he helped me.

I step out towards him, my front door still open behind me and the venom in my voice is palpable,

"You are fucking deluded. After you cheated on me time after time, convinced me that I was nothing without you" I step towards him again,

"Left me alone in your bed while you went out partying and buried your fingers in the first girl you could find, then blaming me for being paranoid  the day after it happened" my blood is burning through my veins and the shocked look on his face makes a sour laugh bubble out of my throat,