Teach me to trust

34. Handsome

We stand in our embrace for a few more moments until I realise something that caught my attention the last time I was here.

"Can I ask you something?" I murmur and feel his hand rub against my back as he holds me against him, nodding his head against the top of mine and responding,

"Of course, ask me anything" and I clear my throat and lean back slightly, a frown pulling at his lips at my movement, and I lift his arm from around my waist, lifting his hand to look at the fading marks across his knuckles.

"What happened here?" and I lift my eyes to watch his reaction, surprised and a little amused when he simply shrugs his shoulder and steps back to sit on the edge of his desk again, dragging me with him so I'm stood between his legs.

"Punched some stupid fuck in the face". His casual tone makes me laugh and a small smile rises on his lips at the sound,

"Do you often get in fights?" I tease him, looking over his knuckles again to see if there's any real damage, hearing him scoff above me,

"Sweetheart, it wasn't exactly a fight considering he hit the floor before he knew what was happening" and, like the sick woman I am, I feel thighs clench together at his words.

Awful awful woman.

"Hm, and why is it that you decided hitting this person was the best option?" I feel like it's a good idea to not show him how turned on his previous words have made me.

"Uh, I uh" and his nervous tone catches my attention and when I lift my eyes to his face the apprehension that sits there makes me nervous too. I lift my brows in question and a silent command to carry on.

"I was at the bar" and my stomach twists and I frown at him in confusion,

"Some guy that was sat at the bar, a regular, I think. He was getting rowdy cause your friend wouldn't serve him anymore drinks, Sam, is it?" and I nod at him, "Well Sam wouldn't serve him cause this guy was already pretty drunk and then this other guy at the end of the bar told him to get over it and just leave" Nate chuckles and shakes his head,

"I thought it was pretty funny, but the drunk guy didn't. He got up off his stool and started hurling abuse at this other guy. Sam stepped in to defend him and this dude just went off on one, throwing shit around and screaming at them" and I sense the hesitation in his voice so I squeeze his hand,

"He uh. He said some pretty rancid stuff, at first it was just stupid shit but he called them-he said" he clears his throat, "He called them 'Fucking faggots' and said that it's 'bad enough they were gay, but the fact that they were interracial made it worse' obviously he didn't use those words exactly but" and the way his hand tenses in mine I know he's thinking about the situation again and those awful, disgusting words.

I'm about to tell him his bruised knuckles are so worth it but he carries on,

"I'm pretty sure Sam was about to launch himself over the bar but I couldn't help myself. I just stood up and swung at him. He went down after the first hit, but I couldn't stop hitting him. What the fuck is wrong with people that they think shit like that is okay?" he shakes his head and his voice is hard in anger.

"Anyway, Sam let me beat the shit out of him for a few minutes before he had to drag me off him. Maybe he didn't want some random piece of shit dying in his bar. I can't imagine that's any good for insurance" his shoulders lift in a shrug again and although he's trying to act nonchalant, I can tell how much the situation upset him.

I drop his hand and almost jump on him, wrapping my arms around the tops of his shoulders and squeezing him into me. His arms almost immediately come up to wrap around my back and he squeezes me into him.

"You did the right thing. Sam will be so grateful for what you did, and I think there's a chance that the guy at the end of the bar was his boyfriend. They'll be happy you defended them" and he squeezes me tighter to him, planting a kiss on the top of my shoulder where his head rests.

We stand in our comfortable embrace in relaxed silence, Nate turning his head to bury it in the side of my neck, planting gentle kisses on the surface.

"Be mine" he murmurs against my skin and I tense, pulling back to look at him but he doesn't let me go very far,

"Be mine and let me be yours" he says again, "I've wanted to do this for so long but I didn't want to scare you away. I knew how scared you were of starting again and trusting me but I want to prove to you that you have nothing to be afraid of. Let me be yours, please" and the way his eyes are shining and the nervous look on his face, that odd feeling I've had in my chest around him returns full force.

My breath catches in my throat as we look at each other. His eyes hold such an intensity I feel like they're burning a permanent mark into my skin.

Take a chance, he might be worth it, something whispers inside of me and for once I don't feel paralysed with the fear of what I could lose, only excited with the idea of what I might gain.

I can't stop the smile lifting on my lips as I nod my head at him and I see surprise flit across his features,

"Yes?" he asks me, and a laugh escapes my throat at the breathy tone of his voice, "Yes" I answer him and he releases a massive sigh of relief.

"Fuck yes" and he tugs me into him and kisses me hard, both hands coming up to hold my head to him and he sweeps his tongue against my lips, opening them and caressing my tongue with his own.

We are as close as we can be as we kiss, my arms wrapped tight around his neck and his hands tugging on my hair. I can feel how fast my heart is beating and our tongues dance against each other. I gently graze his lower lip with my teeth and bite town, tugging it slightly and I receive a deep groan in reward. He yanks me back into him and plunges his tongue into my mouth. The kiss is sloppy but the way we're draped all over it other makes it that much more erotic.

We pull back for air and our heavy breaths can be he heard bouncing off the walls in his office, his lips are shiny and plump, and his cheeks are slightly pink, and I think he's never looked more beautiful. In the afterglow of our kissing and he looks just as flustered as I'm sure I do.

My handsome man.