Teach me to trust

44. Fight

I sit here on the floor, looking up at Alistair as he looks as me expectantly, waiting for me to confess my undying love for him I assume.

I almost throw up in my mouth at the thought.

"Fine. I'll start" he sighs, leaning back into the couch and I remind myself to burn the fabric as soon as possible.

"First off I want to apologise" and I almost laugh at him but I bite my tongue, "I shouldn't have put you at risk earlier. I was just angry" and I assume he's talking about the fact that he almost choked me to death, raising my hand to touch at the red skin.

He shakes his head as I do so,

"No. That was necessary to make you listen" the urge to reach out and smack him is almost overwhelming "I didn't think. I was just so angry with you".

It takes a minute for my brain to catch up with what he's just said, my heart thumping almost audibly at the realisation.

"You?" I rasp out, "It was you that fucked with my brakes?" and I nearly throw up when he nods, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck like he's embarrassed.

"Not my finest moment" he chuckles, "I was just so angry after I saw the way you let him into your house, let him touch you" he spits the words out as if they taste bitter,

"That should have been me. I should have been the one in here with you. Making love to you" and my blood runs cold at the very real possibility of what could happen now he has me here on my own.

"I can't believe you let him touch you. It makes me sick. He doesn't deserve you. He left you here alone after that guy showed up and put his hands on you" he shakes his head, "I had to stay outside all night to look after you, something he should have done"

"You-you saw all that?" I ask, my brain going haywire at the realisation he's been watching me, sleeping outside of my house. He scoffs,

"Of course. I've been keeping an eye out for you since you moved in here" and I do the maths in my head. 2 years. I've lived here for 2 years and I've never once realised he's been watching.

I feel bile rise in my throat and I lift my hand to cover my mouth, watching his reaction as his eyes never leave my face. My movement reminds me of the fact that I never took my phone out of my pocket, feeling the weight there and what feels like a vibration.

Please, please let it be Nate.

I lower my shaking hand back to my lap and sit silently in front of him, fearful that if I open my mouth I'll say the wrong thing and infuriate him.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" and I stay completely still, flinching as he comes at me faster than I can blink, forcing me back into the carpet by my chest and straddling me across my chest, pinning my arms beneath his legs.

"You're being fucking rude. I don't appreciate it" he spits at me, leaning over and breathing over my face, warm breath that smells like strong coffee.

I keep my mouth shut, deciding what the fuck I'm supposed to do in this situation. I either piss him off by staying quiet, or risk saying something that's going to send him off the deep end.

"I'm sorry" I whisper out, flinching as he lifts me off the floor my by my top and swings my head to the side, bouncing it off the coffee table next to me before letting me go and watching as I drop back into the carpet underneath me.

My ear is ringing with the force of the contact, and I feel an instant headache coming on, grimacing and closing my eyes briefly.

"You think an apology is what I need from you? I need you to tell your little boyfriend that you're done with him" I feel warmth across the side of my head and I know I'm bleeding, the area is throbbing now and I blink away the blood from my eyes,

"Please" I beg him, trying to get out from underneath him, my arms losing feeling as he leans on them and I barely register his hand hitting me across the face before gripping my throat,

"I've tried to be so good to you. Why can't you see how perfect we would be together?" my lip trembles and I gasp for air,

"You're right! You're right" I tell him, relishing in the air forcing it's way back into my lungs when he loosens his grip,

"You have been good to me, I was just scared of how it made me feel" I feel filthy uttering the words, but if it'll get me out of this situation I was ready to say just about anything.

"The flowers are beautiful, thank you" and his grip tightens again slightly,

"Where were the daisies from?" and I panic a little, screaming at myself to just think.

"Keira" I gasp out and he lets me go, leaning back onto my stomach and laughing to himself,

"Of course. Silly of me to think you'd accept flowers from anyone other than me" and I join his laughter, praying he believes it and thanking the universe when he slides off me and sits on the carpet, eyes running over my bruised and bleeding face.

I move slowly, watching his face as I sit myself up and shuffle back slightly, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket again and hoping he hasn't heard it.

I'm in shock at how relaxed he looks sat across from me, an almost proud look on his face as he looks at the mess he's made of me, leaning back on the couch my feet pointed towards him and I lift them so they sit flat on the ground.

My heart just about stops when my phone rings in my pocket, shattering the fragile silence between us and his face is taken over by rage, entire body tensing at the sound and I keep still.

"Is that him?" he spits, "He's calling you now, when we're spending time together? Give that to me!" he shouts, lunging for me and I lift my foot, driving it into his chest as he jumps as me and knocking the wind out of him.

He lays wheezing on the floor, and I leap from the ground, sprinting out of the living room door and grasping the front door handle when a hand grabs my hair, yanking me back and I take a minute to think,

"Don't you fucking dare"

The anger is coursing through me, and I swing my head back at him, making sharp contact with his nose and I smile at the crunching noise I hear, laughing when I hear him hit the floor behind me and I rip the front door open and sprint down the steps.

I'm gasping for air when I hear him scream behind me. I make it to the end of the driveway and spin back to look at my front door when I hear the staggered steps, watching his bloody face emerge from my house.

I turn to run again when strong hands grip my arms and I flail, screaming as I try to get away from the grip on me, tears building in my eyes at the very real possibility that I'm going to be stuck here.

"Hey! Hey!" I hear, "Stop! Emily, sweetheart. Stop"

My whole body relaxes when I hear his voice, and I stop moving, darting my eyes up and spinning myself around to look at him, gasping in relief when I see his face and throwing myself into his arms, sobs wracking my body.

"Nate" I wail as I cling to him, gasping for air through my tears and I tear myself away when I realise Alistair is probably coming at us.

I turn around quickly, prepared to fight if I needed to, anything to keep him away from me. From Nate.

My mouth is agape as I witness a police officer throwing him up against a car and shoving him into a pair of handcuffs. I shake my head in confusion, until I catch sight of my neighbour standing outside next to another police officer, eyes trained on my face and a tight grip on his husband's hand.

"Em?" I hear again, Nate's face coming into view and his eyes are running across my face, jaw clenching when he sees the state of my face and he turns his head, eyes focused on Alistair, and he takes a threatening step forward.

I panic and grab his arm,

"Please don't" I beg, "Don't leave me, please"

Nate comes back to stand in front of me, lifting his hands to grip my face when he realises that he can't, frowning and running his hand across the top of my head, pulling me into his chest and holding me tighter than he ever has before.