Teach me to trust

24. A lifetime

We sit in a comfortable silence for a while, foreheads pressed together and a tight grip on each other's hands.

Not too much later we're interrupted by multiple footsteps, creeping to the room behind us, catching my attention. I lift my head and turn to look at my guests, my friends. Who all stand with timid smiles on their faces, and a knowing glint in their eyes at mine and Nate's position.

When Keira catches sight of my red eyes, her brows knit together and she comes barrelling towards me, fierce look in her eyes.

"Hey, what the fuck is this?" and I see her send an accusing glance towards Nate, who is still on his knees in front of me.

She sends me a questioning glance and I know if I gave her even a hint that Nate was the one who upset me, she'd drag him out of here by his balls. I shake my head at her,

Not him.

She takes a slow seat next to me, putting her hand on my leg and tilting her head at me in question, curiosity burning in her eyes, and I know she is dying to ask what happened, but for fear of pushing me too hard, she doesn't.

The other three people lingering in the doorway make their way further into the room, all finding places to sit, and I try to ignore the silent discussion JD seems to be having with Nate, who shakes his head at him and stands, taking a seat on the couch next to the one where I currently am.

I glance around at the people in my house. All of them came here for me, because they were worried that I hadn't replied to their texts, and the looks of kindness painted on their face's cracks some of that hard wall that built itself up last night as I sat, wallowing.

I clear my throat and square my shoulders, talking is supposed to help, right?

"Last night while I was working" I look to Keira, "Dylan was there" and I see a flicker of confusion before burning rage lights up her eyes.

"Dylan?" she forces out, as if it physically pains her to have his name in her mouth.

I remember when I first told her about him. It wasn't long after I'd moved here and I found myself alone in a booth at work, nursing a drink in my hand when she threw herself into the booth opposite me. Asking me if I wanted a friend and if I did, I had to buy her a drink first.

I remember the laugh that bubbled out of my throat, bringing out of the haze I had been in for a long time. I think she could see I was close to becoming a serious mess, drowning my sorrows in more alcohol than I care to think about over the time it took me to deal with the mess that was my first 'real' relationship.

"Why the hell was he at the bar?" she asks and I can only shrug my shoulders. I know what he told me, but it feels too cruel for the universe to bring us together again by pure coincidence.

"What did he say to you? I swear to God, Em if he hurt you-"and I shake my head at her, the slight red mark on my wrist is the only proof of the physical contact we had last night, and I'm grateful I'm wearing a long sleeved hoody.

"It was the usual. Same old shit" I tell her and I can't help the ironic laugh that comes out of me.

Same old shit.

Same old shit that I'm still dealing with so many years later.

I look away from Keira and realise the confused looks on everyones faces, catching a sympathetic look in Lily's eyes and I almost choke from what that look alone makes me feel. I turn slowly to look at Nate, not knowing what to expect, but his eyes are firmly on me, head propped up on his hands as he sits here and listens to us talk.

I know he probably has so many questions; Who's Dylan? Why does Keira so clearly hate him? Why would she even ask if he hurt me?

I don't have the stomach to tell him the full extent, if he wants to know, I will tell Keira that she can tell him, and my friends who sit here patiently. 

For me.

Keira didn't ask me anything else after that, sitting and brewing with silent rage. So much so that I was genuinely concerned for the next person who pissed her off, but silently hoping it might be Dylan. She is fierce when she needs to be and she doesn't take shit from anybody, a quality that has been slowly ingrained in me over the couple of years I have known her. Hopefully that quality will become stronger in me.

We all sit watching something that Marc had chosen to put on TV, when the doorbell rings. I frown, not knowing who else could possibly be at my door. My only friends are sat here, excluding Sam but I know he's covering my shift tonight.

I stand and make my way to the door, hoping that it isn't some other drama that I need to deal with and swing it open, instantly feeling confused at the man stood in front of me holding three bags of what smells like food.

"I'm sorry but, I didn't order any of this?" I say in question, about to ask the man what address he was looking for when a large, tanned arm reaches around me to grab the bags.

"Thanks man, here" and a note is passed over in tip, earning a grateful smile from my unexpected delivery man before he turns and jogs back to his car.

Closing the door slowly, I turn to look at the man beside me. Nate in all of his beautiful glory stands, clutching the bags of food in his send and sending me a cocky grin, amused at my shocked reaction.

"Close your mouth sweetheart, you'll catch flies" and he reaches out to tap my chin, landing a sweet kiss on my lips before he pulls back and pats me on my backside.

"Be a darling and grab us some plates would you, oh and some cutlery" he winks at me before turning and sauntering back to the living room.

I hear a chorus of groans and then cheers, a high pitched 'Fuck yeah!' coming from JD, I think.

I shake my head as I walk into the kitchen to grab everything we might need, considering I don't actually know what food he's ordered, and carry it all over to the hungry group of people waiting. The smell of the food is making my stomach ache with hunger and I greedily eye up the tubs that Nate has spread out on my coffee table.

"What are we having?" I ask, stepping in and handing everone a plate and cutlery, catching Nate's eye from where he leans over the table, sending me another wink and patting two tubs that he's placed off to the side.

I make my way over to them, peering at what it is and I could almost jump him with gratitude. Chinese, and he's got my favourite go to meal, placing a pot of curry sauce on my plate.

I don't even remember telling him my favourite, but clearly, he is much more attentive than me, grinning at the happy look on my face and sitting down in front of the table, I sit next to him. I give him a kiss on his shoulder as he sits here, his head behind too far above me to comfortably reach, his shoulder is a much easier target.

He returns my gesture of thanks with a kiss on the side of my head, nudging me with his knee to dig in like everybody else has, nods of approval all around the room.

I realise, as I'm forking my food into my mouth, that this is the first thing I've eaten all day. My appetite has been none existent since last night, a horrible sickness was twisting my stomach out of shape.

But yet as I sit here with all of these people, chatting and laughing like we've known each other a lifetime, I feel at ease and my stomach doesn't feel so twisted anymore, and my loneliness ebbs away.