Teach me to trust

31. For me

I woke up the next morning with JD clinging to my calves in his sleep, clutching me like I was some sort of teddy with his head hanging backwards off the couch. I can imagine the pain he's going to be in when he lifts his head up later.

I lie here and wonder what woke me up when I hear a phone ringing. I reach around me to try and find my own phone and realise it isn't here. I look down at JD and sigh, moving my legs, a little too fast apparently as he slides off the couch and lands on the living room floor with a thud.

I try not to laugh at him, lifting my head up and peering over the couch at him, led in an odd position and a disgruntled look on his face until he spots me when a grin breaks across his lips. He shoots up off the floor and stops suddenly, gripping the back of his neck and dropping to his knees, torso flattened on the couch.

"Oh my fucking God, my neck. I'm gonna die" his screams are muffled by my couch as he writhes around in pain and the sound of my laughter has him jolting his head up to shoot daggers at me.

The fast movement makes him scream again, crying out about how he'll never walk again and how he desperately needs me to take him to the hospital, reaching out to grab at me with the hand that isn't gripping his neck.

I scoot out of the way and step around the couch, hearing the ringing again and trying to remember where I left my phone last night, turning to look over the top of the couch when JD holds it up in his hand, passing it to me with his face planted firmly back in the cushions of the couch.

I answer my phone without bothering to check who it is, I think this is my third missed call already and whoever it is clearly needs to get in touch about something.

"Hello?" I ask, and I feel my face get hot at the deep chuckle on the other end of the line.

"Good morning to you too" Nate responds down the phone to me,

"I have a bone to pick with you" he taunts down the phone and I frown to myself in confusion, seeing JD pop his head up over the back of the couch at me, questioning who's on the phone with a tilt of his head.

I wave him off and walk into my kitchen to turn the kettle on,

"What seems to be the problem?" I ask and I hear shuffling on the other end of the line and the faint sound of a door closing.

"You didn't text when you finished your shift. I'm pretty sure I remember you pinky promising me to text me if I let you leave" and I almost slap my hand to my head, in amongst everything that happened last night I completely forgot to tell him I got home safe.

"Shit. Uh well, I'm home?" I can't help the questioning tone to my voice, the only answer I could think of. I don't think it appeases him as his dark chuckle reaches through the phone to me again,

"Yes well, I should hope you're home. I would much prefer if you were with me, but I can dream" I can hear his gentle breathing through the phone and if I close my eyes I can almost imagine being wherever he is, with him.

"I wish" I mutter without realising what I've said and his quick inhalation makes me come back to reality, seeing JD wander into the kitchen and holding up a mug to me to ask for something to drink.

I move out of the way and get JD a spoon out and grab the milk for him,

"Help yourself" I tell him and walk away to try and salvage this embarrassing conversation on my behalf. I open my mouth to ask Nate what he's up to but he beats me to the punch,

"You have an overnight guest sweetheart?" I hear him ask and I think I sense a touch of apprehension in his tone but I'm interrupted again before I can answer, rolling my eyes at look at JD who's just emerged from the kitchen behind me, shouting;

"Can I have some biscuits?" I can see that he's already stuffed his mouth with them and I sigh, nodding at him and receiving a smile full of biscuit before he runs back to the kitchen.

"Uh, is there a man with you?" Nate asks and I feel awful for my next words, but I love seeing this man flustered.

"Oh him? He's just a friend" is my coy response, tensing when I hear a hum down the line in response to my teasing.

"Hm, like I'm just your friend?" and somehow I knew my comment to Ryan at that party not so long ago would come back to bite me in the ass.

"Oh yes! Exactly like that!" I tell him, false enthusiasm dripping on my tone,

"You're playing a dangerous game here darling" his voice is dripping with honey now, making my thighs clench together where I stand, my frustration coming back full force when I remember the fact that on our last night together nothing happened.

"Hm, no I don't think so" I reply, wishing I could see his face right now, a wicked idea popping into my mind as I hear JD in the kitchen,

"Oh! I've got to go babe, my friend needs me. Talk soon" I make sure to blow him a kiss through the phone, ignoring his protests and hanging up the phone.

I instantly receive a text notification and I hate myself for the excited feeling that bubbles up inside of me,

'You're asking for it, sweetheart'

'So give it to me' is my response and I lock my phone, sliding it in my back pocket and peeking my head in the kitchen to let JD know I'm going to take a shower, relieved that he seems okay. Well, as okay as he can be, I guess.

It doesn't take me too long to shower, having washed my hair yesterday I only needed to wash my body and shave myself. Optimism.

I quickly dry myself with a towel and wander into my room to throw some comfy clothes on. I know that JD is still here, I heard the TV turn on downstairs the second I made it to the bathroom. At least he's making himself at home.

I stand in the middle of my room, still wrapped in a towel with my hands on my hips. Is it too optimistic of me to put matching underwear on? Is Nate the kind of man who appreciates or even notices matching underwear?

Come to think of it I'm pretty sure he hasn't seen me in matching underwear so far and he never seemed to mind, but as I rummage through my drawer I find a set that I bought a couple of years ago but never felt like I could wear.

I slip it on and look at myself in the mirror. Despite my previous concerns, I'm surprised that I feel so good in this set. The mesh makes my skin look soft and the red and pink stitched flowers compliment my pale skin. The style of the bra holds my breasts up firmly and I love the way my cleavage looks.

I look at the same stitched pattern on the bottoms, turning slightly to the side and noticing the rolls of skin along my back, touching them slightly but for the first time in a while, not minding that they're there.

I slip my jeans on and a comfy jumper. Even if Nate doesn't end up seeing this, I feel sexy enough in it to not care.

I feel like I'm wearing this for me, and I love it.