BF(F?): A Josh Richards Fanfiction *completed*

26

I still couldn't bring myself to look at him, but I could feel the anger radiate from him as his fists clenched near my own hands. "That was a month ago," he said. His voice was calm, and I think that made me more nervous than if he was screaming at me. "What kind of person holds on to something like that? Why didn't you tell me?"
The tears were back, and this time, I wasn't able to restrain them. "I don't know, Josh. Everything was a mess with us. You were jealous of me and Jaden, Nessa was jealous of me and you, I don't know what I was feeling. I didn't want you to think that I was making it up," I replied, a pleading tone in my voice. It was his turn to avoid eye contact with me. "I never meant to hurt you, Josh. I love you with all of my heart. You're my best friend, my brother. I just-"

He cut me off. "You run around kissing your brother? All while you are keeping it a secret that his girlfriend has been cheating on him for a month?"
"I never meant to hurt you," I repeated, sounding like a broken record.
"You were too busy worrying about how not to hurt yourself. You're supposed to be my best friend! I can't believe you."

He got up without another word, storming off into the mall. I wasn't about to get stuck here, but his legs were just so damn long. I lost him near the Nike store, and I opted to sit on his car to wait for him. A million thoughts raced through my head as I sat on the hood. What was I thinking? Why hadn't I told him immediately? Why did I think that I was protecting him? What was I going to say to him when he came back? Would he ever forgive me?

Someone cleared their throat directly in front of me, and it brought me back down from my spiraling event. I wasn't sure who I was expecting, but Nessa wouldn't have even been a guess.
"You just couldn't wait to get your hands on my man, huh?" she asked, chuckling wryly as she placed her hands on her hips. "'He's like my brother' she said. What a fucking liar."
"What are you talking about?" I asked. There was no way she could know about what had just happened.
"I have eyes and ears everywhere. You didn't really think that you could shove your tongue down his throat in the middle of the mall and not get caught, did you?"
My heart leapt into my throat. I hadn't even considered the possibility of anyone seeing us. We were the only two people that mattered at that moment. "I'll leave you be, slut. Let Joshy-poo know I stopped by, would you? I miss him already, and it hasn't even been twenty-four hours."

She left, and I felt the anger bubble up inside me. Was I jealous? Josh wasn't my boyfriend, and I wasn't sure that I could justify straining our friendship to be in a relationship.
Before I could even consider any other options, Josh was walking towards the car. "Get in," he demanded. His voice was firm, and I was still a little anxious about how our friendship was going to be affected by this.
"Josh," I began as I buckled my seatbelt.
He cut me off. "Save it. I'm not interested in anything that you have to say right now. If my mom hadn't raised me well, you would be sitting in this parking lot."

That was harsh, but I supposed that it was warranted, so I did as I was told. I wanted nothing more than to talk to him, and I was kicking myself for not doing it sooner. I could have saved us both so much trouble.
He rested his arm on the center console, and I instinctively rested my head on his shoulder. "God, I want to be more mad at you," he whispered, leaning his head against mine. "Just tell me one thing, would you?" he asked. When he felt my head nod, he began to speak. "Was this, all of this, just to protect me?"

I absentmindedly ran my fingers over his as I spoke. "Yes," I replied. "At that moment, you seemed so happy, and I didn't want to take that from you, even if it wasn't reciprocated. Looking back, I wouldn't want to have been kept in the dark, but I just, God, I don't know. You deserved a chance to be happy. I was hoping for your sake that it was more of a one time type of thing," I explained. My reasoning sounded so pathetic, but it really did come from a place of love.
He sighed. "I understand. I wish that you would've told me, but I understand. Let's make a deal right now, though. No more secrets."

Oh, shit. I should probably mention my little visitor then. "Deal," I replied. "Nessa stopped by."
"Stopped by where?" he asked as we headed home.
"The car. At the mall," I responded. "She said to tell you that she misses you."
He glanced over at me. "You're leaving something out. Spill."
"She knows about our kids!" I blurted out, quickly covering my face with my hands.

"Are you ashamed of it?" he asked.
I shook my head. "God, no. She just kept calling you her man. I have a bad feeling about the whole situation."
"She's all talk," he laughed, shaking his head. "If she wanted me, she wouldn't have slept with Jaden. Don't worry. She's got nothing that she can do. She's the one that cheated on me, remember?"

He was trying really hard to convince me and put my mind at ease, but something still felt off. She had spoken to me so vindictively. I didn't know what she was up to, but I did know that it, whatever it was, wasn't going to go well.