BF(F?): A Josh Richards Fanfiction *completed*

17

"You're such a drama queen, Haley!" Mom yelled at me as the sound of the door shutting rang out through the house. 
"Whatever, Mom!" I screamed back. "I skipped school! So fucking what! It was one day! I'm gonna be fine!" 
"No, ma'am! You do not get to talk to me like that! I don't care that you skipped school right now! I want to know why you're being so dramatic about Josh right now, especially if you claim that I already told you exactly what would happen."
I sighed, sitting back down. My anger dissipated, and I couldn't even be bothered to keep up the whole angsty, defiant teenager act thing. "I don't know, Mom. I just, gosh. I love him, but I'm kind of scared."
"What the hell are you scared about?" she asked, sitting down next to me on the couch. 
"I like Jaden. A lot. I told him that I loved him. We skipped school together. We met each other's families."
"So what's the problem?" she asked. "What are you afraid of?" 
"What if I love Josh more than as my best friend? What if we were to both cut off our significant others and give it a shot?"

"Oh, honey," she murmured, wrapping her arms around me. "I don't know how you feel, but I know that you really need to understand your emotions before I can even begin to try to understand them."
I shrugged her off, wiping the tears from my face. "I don't want to understand them. I just want to keep living with what I've got right now, taking it one day at a time or whatever."
"Babe, you can't ignore all of your problems, okay? I'll help you work through whatever you need, but only if you're willing to take the necessary steps to figure it out on your own."

There was a knock on the door, drawing my attention away from the conversation that was happening on my couch. "Ugh, who could that be?" I asked, wiping some more tears from my face. 
"I'll get it, my love," Mom said, standing up and kissing me on the top of the head. 

"Oh, hi, honey," I heard her say. "She's in the living room. I'll give the two of you some time."
Josh stood there, leaning against the doorway. "Hey, Hales. Do you have a second to talk?" 
I shrugged, avoiding eye contact. I didn't want him to see the tear stains on my cheeks. This wasn't a conversation that I was ready to have right now. "I guess I do. What's up?"
"I want to apologize to you." 
Play dumb or blow up? "What do you want to apologize to me for?" I asked. Play dumb it was, I suppose. 
"Don't play dumb. I know that that's your self-preservation tactic but it's not going to work with me. I know you better than I know myself. I really fucked up with that little yelling thing. I'm, uh, frustrated, I guess," he said, putting one hand behind his head, his eyes anxiously darting around the room. 
"You're frustrated? I'm frustrated, too, Josh. I don't know what the hell is happening between us right now, but we really need to figure it out. After everything that's happened these last few days, I've really missed you. We really drifted apart this summer," I said, tears filling my eyes again. 

Josh sat down on the chair next to the couch, reaching over to grab my hand. "I'm scared, Haley." 
I shook my head in disbelief. "What could you be scared about, Josh?" 
"Did you even listen to what I screamed? I love you, Haley, more than anything in the world, but I'm not sure how I love you if that makes any sense," he explained. 
Was I in the same boat as Josh? yes. Did he need to know that? No. "We're growing up, Josh. Things are becoming real for us, and um, I think that some of this is just projection. Do you know what I mean? We've been destined to be close to each other since our moms met. You've never talked about anyone the way that you talk about Nessa."
"But what if I really am just using Nessa to distract myself from whatever feelings I might have for you?" 
I shook my head. "No, honey."

Josh got up, leaning over to hug me. "I love you, Haley."
"I love you, too, Josh. Now, go home and get some sleep. We aren't skipping school anymore, so you need a good night's rest," I replied, chuckling. 
He shook his head, laughing back as he pulled away. "You're such a goofball, sis."
"I know," I laughed back, wiping the remaining tears from my eyes. "Now, seriously. Go get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

I lay down in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I can't believe that I had really just 'solved' my problem of thinking that I was in love with Josh by telling him that he had just become comfortable with me. Whatever. It was for the best, right? If I didn't have to worry about it, I didn't have to be sad. That would definitely work itself out. 
"Who are you trying to convince?" I groaned, covering my face with a pillow. "You should have talked to him about it. Just go to sleep, you stupid drama queen." 

My alarm went off the next morning, and I groaned again. "Maybe you should have gone to sleep instead of talking to yourself about your stupid problems."
"Haley!" Mom called up the stairs. "You can't miss the third day of school on your fourth day of junior year!"
Oh, yeah. I guess she was right. I was going to have to go eventually. I could avoid being together with Josh, Nessa, and Jaden, but that definitely wasn't going to help me in the long run. 

There was a honk in the driveway and I looked out the window to see Jaden's car parked there. The surprising part, however, was Josh and Jaden standing toe to toe. Great.