BF(F?): A Josh Richards Fanfiction *completed*

25

-once again, I am so sorry that i've been MIA-

I went downstairs, and my mom looked at me knowingly. "You're nervous," she stated, not asking.
"Um," I began, stammering, "maybe a little bit. I'm just not sure what's about to happen."
She chuckled. "Don't be dramatic. Now, get going! You're a fool if you leave a man that looks like that waiting for too long."

I rolled my eyes as I left the kitchen, quickly going outside and shutting the front door behind me. Josh was leaning up against his car nonchalantly, his arms folded over his chest. His biceps rippled under his t-shirt sleeve, and I felt my face heating up. What was I doing thinking about my best friend like this?
He opened the car door for me as I approached. "You know, you look good in my clothes."

I flashbacked to that day, the one that seemed like it was forever ago, but it was really only thirty days.
"You know, you look good in my clothes, but you look even better out of them," Jaden teased, going back to kiss my neck.

Josh's voice brought me back to reality. "Hales? Are you okay? Was it something that I said?"
I shook my head. "No, sorry, I just- sometimes, I still have some memories of Jaden. I, um, I'm sorry. I just made this really weird. I'm gonna stop talking now. Can we just go?"
He wordlessly pulled me into a hug, and the smell of his cologne as my head rested against his chest certainly wasn't helping whatever mixed emotions I was feeling about him right now. "Your emotions are valid. If you would like to talk about it, you know that I will always, always, always be here for you."
I didn't respond as I slid into his front seat. I had been way too drunk to even process what had happened to him. Forget about whatever my head or my heart was telling me.

The mall was easily an hour from our houses one way, so if I decided to have this conversation today, I had plenty of time. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure that I was ready, so I twiddled my thumbs in my lap as he drove, staring out the window as trees flew past us.
He reached over, turning the music down. "Alright, what's going on? You haven't looked away from the window, made a single comment about my driving, or demanded that I change the song the entire time that we've been driving. I'm here for you, Hales, but I can only do that if you'll let me."
I shrugged, still not turning to make eye contact. "I didn't notice that was happening. Sorry," I replied, blowing off his comment in hopes that he would just leave it alone.
"Bullshit," he chuckled dryly. "What's your deal? Is it last night? Are you still in your feelings about Jaden from earlier? I know that you're not talking to anyone else about anything that's going on. At least talk to me."

We had pulled into the mall parking lot, and I was really hoping that it would mark the end of this conversation, but it continued as I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car. "Are you upset that it was Jaden and Nessa? He cheated on you, right? God, that means that he's moved on to his second girl of the month. What a manwhore," he chuckled, clearly unable to read the room.
"Second if you're counting me," I mumbled, trying to walk more quickly ahead of him. Unfortunately for me, his legs had always been much longer than mine, and he caught up in what I could only assume was record time. "What was that?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder to stop me.
I assumed that he had heard me, but there was no way in hell that I was going to say anything until I was positive. "I just said that I picked a good one."

He shook his head, pulling me down onto a nearby bench next to him. "What does 'two if you count me' mean? Did he not cheat on you? I'm really confused, Haley. I need you to explain."
Tears welled in my eyes. I had never intended to hurt him, and whether I told him the truth now or not, I was about to. "Josh, I wish that I had gotten in your car that morning instead of his. If I could go back in time and change it, I would."
"Why?" he asked, clearly exasperated now. "You're saying everything but nothing right now."
"Why can't we just have a nice day?" I begged, a single tear escaping and making its way down my cheek.

He reached out to wipe it with a thumb, keeping his hand pressed to my face. I could see the look in his eyes that my mom had described, the look that I saw in Jaden's eyes every time he looked at me over the summer. At that moment, I just couldn't help myself. I reached up, mimicking his hand placement as I pressed my lips to his.
His body tensed in surprise, but he quickly melted into the kiss, caressing my cheek with that same thumb.

When he finally pulled away, I felt the guilt ball up in my chest. He was vulnerable, and he didn't know everything that he thought he knew about me, about Jaden, about Nessa. Why hadn't I just told him? What was I so afraid of?
"That was, wow," he sighed. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. What does this mean? Do you feel the same way?"
I couldn't do this any longer.

"Josh, that day, the day that Jaden left me on the curb? I saw a text from another girl. She was calling him baby."
I couldn't look at his face as I spoke.
"Josh, it was Nessa that was texting him," I finally blurted out.