29 - bloody night

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at least once in a person's life, something happens, something that made you say 'this is it. it's going to ruin me.'

in Hikari's case, it happened when she laid eyes on Hideo's corpse, missing fingers and barely recognizable. it happened when Sanzu raped her for the first time, when Ran told her he could not love her, when she was abducted by Sanzu, and the last had been when she thought Ran died.

when he came back alive, she thought she'd never come to know that feeling once more—of foolish hope tightening the noose around her neck. marrying Ran. living with Ran. waking up to him everyday and listening to his breaths as they fell asleep at night. she had hoped for it to last forever.

when she awoke in a pitch black room, tangled in sheets with a man who felt so different from him, it happened again. the noose tightened around her throat, and this time it hurt more because she might as well have killed Ran with her if he found out.

"Hikari."

Ran's voice barely brought her back to earth until he touched her shoulder gently. she flinched, looking up at him in surprise. she took in her surroundings and found that they were already in the penthouse and he was waiting for her to move.

he sighed, pressing the button for the elevators to close as well as the alarm.

"Ran?"

Hikari's breath hitched as he leaned back on his side of the wall. purple eyes glanced at her, his gaze penetrating, his face expressionless.

"you have to tell me what's wrong," he gravely says.

"I told you—"

"you told me nothing."

"Ran, not now," she pleads, her voice almost cracking.

earlier when she'd stepped out of her office, she thought Ran went away somewhere; only for his voice to resonate from beside the door 'I didn't leave.'

he held her hand, not asking any questions as he guided her to their car. she was beginning to wonder when her luck would run out though, aware of how much he was curious to ask.

"did Sanzu do something?"

she looked at him in surprise, the man tilting his head as he clicked his tongue at her reaction, his expression telling her that a lot of things were already running through his head.

"what did that bastard fucking do to you, Hikari?"

"he didn't do anything."

"Hikari," he warns, stepping closer as he holds her shoulders. "tell me what he did."

"don't worry about it, please."

"how can you expect me not to worry when you're this way?" desperation seeped into his voice, eyes almost frantic as he looked at her.

he wasn't ever going to sleep well at night if he'd failed at protecting her again.

"tell me what he did, Hikari."

she glanced at him warily. he'll be better off not knowing.

"Ran, I- please I just can't look at you right now," she rasps.

she pushes his hands away, the alarm of the elevator having stopped the moment she felt another one of her panic attacks surge. the doors open and she hastily steps into the penthouse, her feet desperate to take her anywhere that Ran wasn't.

"Hikari."

"leave me alone, Ran!" she yells, unintentional but regretful all the same.

she enters her old room, locking the door behind her. if Ran had followed her she wouldn't know as she heard no sound from outside. she curled herself up into a ball, sinking her face in the pillow in shame.

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