11- Ran

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Hikari woke with barely any memory from last night. her head hurt, and she can't quite open her eyes to the bright morning light. but she does recognize this ceiling. she was in Ran's room.

all of a sudden, the events from last night came flooding in. her skin felt lied to, had she really held Ran? was he actually there to hold her? but it was too real to be a lie—everything from his scent down to his voice.

"it's me, Hikari."

it was way too real.

Hikari couldn't find it in her to get up, and so she just stared at the ceiling, hugging the covers to herself. Ran's scent had been washed away completely from the sheets, probably because the maids had changed them after he was gone.

she was in Ran's room and she was afraid, because his existence felt all but real.

what if she got up and he wasn't there? she's not sure she could stand his absence anymore.

despite herself, Hikari sat up from the bed. her throat felt too dry, and it begged her for water. she looked around her for nothing in particular—just Ran. of course he wasn't there, and now, she had to figure out whether he was just hiding from her even after last night, or last night with him was a lie and he was dead. the girl decided to save it for later.

she stood and found everything surreal. his room had changed a bit. they said Ran had changed the carpets and the bed after that day Sanzu had touched her. consequently, Hikari didn't have any memories with Ran in here. but at least she still had the balcony.

Hikari looks down at herself, surprised that she was in shorts and a hoodie. Rin must've dressed her, causing her to rub her face in embarrassment. Rin. there was him too. she had to settle things with him.

upon touching her face, she'd realized that the corner of her eyes were wet. she had scoffed, unable to forgive herself for always crying; although, she can't quite forgive the brothers as well for leaving her with too many things to cry about. she glances at the balcony, and through the white curtains, she sees a silhouette.

her heart stopped. so did the world. Ran was tall. she remembers last night, when he had hugged her from behind the way he always did—bending down to press his cheek against her head.

"so it was real?" she mutter to herself, and her tears fell.

she didn't move from her spot despite the cold. she just stared at his shadow, and she thought he must've been smoking.

it wasn't until he started to move back inside that Hikari felt incredibly nervous. Rin's shadow definitely wasn't that tall, but what would she do if it wasn't Ran? she didn't feel particularly good about getting her heart broken again so early in the morning—not that she was sure of the time.

the glass door slides open and he walks through the curtains. he stops. for a while, he just stood there, looking at her. then he slowly made his way to Hikari, him in all his glory—not a shirt on, wearing the sweatpants she reckoned he liked best.

he was here, and he was alive. he had the nerve to look like he always did, as if he's always been here, as if he'd never left her to hurt. and she couldn't move, not when he stood close enough that she could smell the cigarettes from him, not when his fingers carefully touched the side of her head. it hurt—her head and the sight of him.

"does it still hurt?" he asks, voice gentle and deep. unreal.

and then she cried, the girl looking away from him or else she'd really go blind. he was real, and she can't believe it. she didn't feel as happy as she did last night—all she could taste was his betrayal.

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