In the morning we woke up and started preparing for henna day. my love for Bollywood surpasses all imagination so to me this was going to be a very memorable day. I would dance my heart out and be happy and today I meant it ,no more take back. Unlucky for me I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was looking for something in the drawer and I think one of the nots fell out and the drawer fell on my leg. I went into a state of paralysis for a moment. I couldn't scream and I just sat there.Halima went down to call my mum I was quickly rushed to the hospital ,it was raining heavily and the weather was cold I decided to take my mind off the pain but unfortunately for me I was back to reminiscing about kabir. He always loved the rai..whenever we were making calls and it was raining he would say "quiet hayaat. Listen to the rain drops, it is loud and yet quiet. I have always played in the rain and when we get married we would play in the rain together. Such a silly dream I had said then. Now I wish for that more than anything else in the world
We got to the hospital and they kept us waiting. It seemed like my leg wasn't such an emergency for this hospital .I don't know why I do this! use pain to shield from pain ,the pain I felt at that time was neurogenic but the pain I kept feeling everyday of my life with sadeeq was psychogenic, they could not see it so how could they believe?
I think the doctor gave me anesthesia. All I know is that I woke up on a bed .I could move my leg but the pain was still there .I was feeling dizzy and was feeling nauseous. I threw up by the side of my bed it was so disgusting. The doctor asked me if he could take some test .The result came out and I found out I was pregnant and I was scared as hell what type of world was i bringing my child into? a selfish father and a mother with a mental health that deteriorated everyday. On my way back I was not able to exchange a single word with my mum.I just stared at the clear sky,my mind as blank as an empty paper.
I got back and started crying. I didn't want to ruin Halima's day but I couldn't control my tears .Halima was always my support and even on her biggest day ,I had to mess it up for her . What is it, my pretty baby she asked. " pretty baby has a baby inside her" I said crying. Oh! My dear it is okay she said . she told me to take this child as a blessing that maybe he would be the bond that brings us together ,maybe she was right maybe she wasn't . She told me that she had a dirty little plan to Cheer me up. Let's sneak out and go fill our stomach with ice cream and hot chocolates." You know I hate chocolate and you are getting married tomorrow you can't leave the house" . I said No one will notice ,silly girl she said.
We sneaked out after isha prayer and halima kept jumping around and singing I am in love i am in love . She kept telling everyone that she was engaged and would be married tomorrow and that I was single. She collected some guys' phone numbers promising them she would make me call them tomorrow .
We walked passed a suya joint and she told me she had an idea .she told me to limp.I didn't know why but I played along ,she went to the man selling the suya and told him I was a cripple and needed food or money to survive the night . This girl is a con artist I rushed over there and told him it was just a prank . Lucky for us he laughed and even gave us suya of 500 naira. It was dangerous to be around Halima. She was such a free soul ,she did whatever she wanted and look where it had brought her, to the world of her dreams. If halima was in my shoes back then, I am very sure she would have gone with kabir to Malaysia but I was a coward. I was always meant to be in a cage not to fly.
We came back home and I was feeling much better and yet I was sad I knew it would take a miracle for me to set my eyes on Halima again. Ahmad is a business man ,always traveling around the world haleema would not be in Nigeria most of the time. It's not like I have the money to follow her. But I would always have her in my heart .
