Hayaats p.o.v
The smell of fried egg woke me up in the morning, I didn't know where it was coming from maybe from my dreams as I stretched my arms and made way to the kitchen . sadeeq was making breakfast. "have a sit Hayaat" , he said . I was confused, was this some kind of prank and was a camera nearby. I sat down and sadeeq served me fried egg and chips. I finished eating and wanted to take the plate to the kitchen and he told me to just get ready that my bath water was getting cold. He would take care of the rest.
I couldn't believe my ears nor my eyes.
Sadeeq was gentle with me but I wasn't going to fall for him. Maybe he wanted something from me.
I went to work and came back to a flawless home.He had swept the house,removed every bit of impurity in that house well ,except himself.
"You didn't go to school "I asked ? Yeah ,I stayed to make you dinner I know you must be exhausted, phew! He was good at manipulation. I was just waiting for one moment so his true color would show ,yet he didn't ask for anything.
I ate the food,truth be told it was delicious. Before we went to bed he told me he was sorry once more and for the sake of whatever we once had and for the sake of our future I should please trust him and give him a chance. naji (I have heard ) I said and drag my bedsheet, switch off the lamp and closed my eyes . I love you Hayaat I heard sadeeqs voice close to my ears . I was struggling with tears and pretending to be asleep . I couldn't remember when last I heard those words from anyone, as a woman you would always yearn for your husbands love and affection and as he said those words I just remembered the sadeeq that came to my house, all wrapped up in a blanket ,sipping tea,those were some of the happiest moments of my life and even if sadeeq was sincere about his intentions we were too far lost ,ultimately we lose people in this life but I lost sadeeq to himself,to his own demons something I never thought was possible.
In the morning I woke up and he wasn't in the bed, I got to the kitchen and as expected ,we were back to old habits as I glanced through the kitchen and there was no sign of food nor him. It was even raining where did he run off to this early ?I wondered as I decide to make hot tea for myself. It was Sunday morning no work no school we would have to spend the day together.
I had just finished taking my tea when I heard his voice from the doorway Assalamualaikum Hayaat.Wa'alaikumsalam I responded ,I am sorry you woke up and I wasn't around. I have a surprise for you this afternoon he said ,ok I responded while nodding my head and continued to play with my phone.
In the afternoon he told me to wear whatever I wanted and I wore my black lace with my golden veil,and flat shoes. I thought he was going to say go back and wear your hijab or something of such context but he said, you look beautiful, hayaat,I am lucky to have you. Did I just blush? I would never have smiled at the word beautiful. I always preferred words like "wild","adventurous " or "bold". I quickly snapped out of it.I wouldn't want sadeeq to even know that he had gotten my attention.
We arrived at our destination (munjibir park )and sadeeq had arranged a beautiful picnic for me,because of the morning rain it was cold and the sun was beginning to emerge from the shadow the cloud had casted upon it. The touch of the sun on my face felt as if I was floating in the sky.I didn't care much for sadeeqs presence. I just focused on the moment. it had been a while since I felt such peace, such tranquility running in every part of my body. As I inhaled the fresh fragrance of the earth, I realized that all I ever desired was peace .
We got on the boat and I could see the sun setting and feel the cold breeze of the lake swiftly caress my face and I let myself believe that he was sincere in his feelings and I fell like like the waves from afar. I might have fallen easily, but for years I searched for a glimpse of happiness and if by allowing myself to fall in love I would feel it ,then I was ready to take that risk, to open my heart come what may . But somethings are easier said than done. The consistency of sadeeq was something to applaud, was it real! Was it all a pretext and if it was, let's pretend our whole life I had said to myself.
For months he was the perfect husband and I had learned to love him. He would take care of me when I got sick, he found a job to help around the house ,he helped with chores and sometimes I would wake up to letters of how much he loves me stuck to my side of the bed,fridge and anywhere he knew I would easily find them. He was no longer demanding nor cruel.
He would tell me words of affirmation, hug me when I felt like breaking down due to stress and as time passed by, the pain and hurt from before were just memories and this was my life now. I had to accept it and enjoy it. I found out I was pregnant and life couldn't get any better .
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