Sadeeq had called me a week after we had moved. He was asking me of the new adress saying he would be home In a weeks time. He came back home and saw the beautiful house with a living room so big you could play football in it. I told him dad gave us the house but we didn't have any foodstuff since our food also got drenched . I asked him for the savings he kept because this would be the right time for us to use it. "I don't have any money Hayaat " he said ,the words echoed in my ears" but you have a salary of almost 55k and I still send you money every month for transport and feeding, and all this while,you have been telling me that you are saving money for me and the kids.so where is all that money ?" I could not start asking dad for money for food again .I wasn't going to be that shameless. I tried to calm myself down and focus on what next to do . I told him we would go over to thank dad in the evening and he said he was too tired for that ,I said what about tomorrow he said he doesn't think he would be going anytime soon. The nerve of this man .I looked at him with rage and he told me to lower my eyes. I took the kids inside their room and locked them up .I came out and for the first time in a long while I said how I felt I told him I was sick and tired of seeing his face everyday I went to bed ,whenever he would breath next to me I felt like choking him. I hated him I told him to just let me go . I want a divorce I said, I didn't believe the word that had escaped my lips. I felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I felt free as though that word I had been so afraid of saying was what was tieing me down to the earth.
"I love you hayaat" he whispered in my ears and it sent shivers down my spine.
"I am never letting you go"
"if you love me I don't understand what type of love this is ,you strip me of my self respect ,you humiliate me in public,you act as though I am an object, wear this, don't wear that ,don't smile outside. I am fed up sadeeq just divorce me."
He said I wasn't in my right mind so he left and came back in the night and I was waiting by the door" give me my paper" I said ,sadeeq looked at me and smiled. Then and there I knew that I married a psychopath." I will never divorce you" he said" you and I would be together forever even if you hate me"
We lived like that for months, then one day as though a miracle was about to happen ,he kept saying I will commit suicide .I didn't even know what he meant but I didn't care .I prayed my zuhur prayer then he barged into the house like someone possessed by a demon .I was sitting on my prayer mat and he slapped me ,I don't think anyone had felt like this before I was smiling and I was crying at the same time. He has finally drawn the last thread I was free ,but then it got out of control followed the second and the third slap and I understood it wasn't suicide he wanted to commit but murder . Before I could run for my life ,he hit me in the stomach and kept kicking me. I started to yell but he went outside locked the gate and locked the living room door . Before he came back, I had already taken my phone and locked my room. I called muhammd to come and save me sadeeq kept hitting the door trying to break it down. I didn't know how Muhammad passed the gate I guess he jumped the fence and called my neighbours and they broke the living room door the neighbours got a grip of him and Muhammad told me to open the door .He wanted to beat sadeeq but I was beaten to a plump so he took me to the hospital ,I got some stitches, and some pain killers after some days in the hospital I was discharged.
I was lucky the kids weren't around and had gone to my parents house. I couldn't begin to imagine the trauma they would have gone through. It would Have sacrred them for life.
When dad saw me, he hugged me and said" Hayaat my little baby what have I done to you .I am sorry I should have listened to you when you said no ",my own father crying and apologizing to me ,we were all in tears he told me that even if its the last thing he does I will never go back to that man,it was all over he said.
Sadeeqs p.o.v
I didn't mean to hurt Hayaat but she pushed me to the wall .She would come back, she always does, her father would send her back to me. I received a letter from shariah court saying Hayaat had issued a divorce . There was no possible way she could leave me.
Hayaats p.o.v
Dad filled a complaint in shariah court and sadeeq divorced me ,the next case was for domestic violence but sadiq was too good a liar and a criminal. He went to psychiatric hospital opened a file and got admitted he said everything that happened was in no way his fault that it was all a mental illness, so he was put in rehabilitation and he escaped punishment but maybe, he really was unstable . Only a mad man would beat the mother of his children to the verge of death. Some said it was the shock he got from the divorce that compromised him. He always thought I would stay with him forever. It was the one thing he was sure of and that turned out to be nothing but his illusion. I guess, even a sane man would lose his sanity over that.
I was so furious that he went scout free but after some time I decided to focus on the bright side of it all .A mentally unstable person would not be granted custody of my kids and he was jobless so he couldn't afford to provide for them. This way, my kids would stay with me .
I don't know how he did it but he found a phone one time and called me up to threaten me ,he told me he would come back for the kids and I dare not marry any one.Not a single shear of remorse !he never apologized he would always remain arrogant.
I had come back home and my kids were now safe with my parents and I was also safe, away from the yelling, the manipulation, the pain and the fear. And yet a new fear would follow me, a new type of sadness will resurface. And it would seem I have no peace in this world.
