Red light

18. The longboarder (Izuna)

I need to eat.

I had been so engrossed in Karin Boye, I hadn't noticed how ravenous I was which was very unusual of me; I usually ate like a clockwork.

I decided to leave my notepad and pen in the little room in the library and go out to a cafe just outside that I had found last week to buy my favourite panini. It was filled with vegan pepperoni and vegetables, and the thought of it alone made my mouth water. I ran down the stairs and out. The sun was blasting outside, and I turned my face to it, smiling. This is very, very nice.

I went to the cafe but decided against sitting down to eat my panini after I had paid for it, but then decided against going back to the library as well.

You read half of Kallocain. No other student has even started. Give yourself a break.

I took the panini out to the park close-by and started eating slowly while walking, sipping some peach tea from time to time. The grass was emerald green and lovely, full of people sitting on blankets to eat or cuddle or feed birds.

There was a sound, a sound that caught my heartstrings and pulled, and it took me a while to realise it was a woman crying.

I frowned, looking around, trying to find the source.

Then, I saw her. She was short, curvaceous, with short, brown hair, an oversized, black T-shirt and black cargo trousers. She was sitting on a bench, hiding her face in her hands, her Vans-clad feet on a beautiful, wooden longboard.

"Umm... hello?" I said.

She looked up to me, and she had big, beautiful brown eyes that were drowning in their own sorrow, and a red lipstick that looked fantastic on her.

And she had a black eye.

I suddenly saw that she also had bruises and scratch marks on her arms.

"Do you need help?" I asked. "Do you want me to call the police?" I was genuinely worried.

She looked to the side.

"No..."

"But if someone is hurting you..."

She didn't answer. She bit her lip.

Then I realised.

She knows who I am...

I felt a pang through my heart; panic. But something about this girl made the panic subside in the burst. She's safe... You're safe.

"We're in the same industry", she said. 

"Oh..." I said. "Sorry, I don't really watch girls."

She couldn't help but laugh a little, which made me happy.

I sat down next to her then, dangling my legs, taking care not to sit too close. She emitted no hostility at all; she really was sweet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, offering her my ice tea.

She took it, drank a little, and nodded.

"Yeah, I think so. It's just..." She sighed. "Fucking men. Literally and figuratively speaking."

"What happened?"

"I was filming. He'd treated me badly before, flirted with my friend, now ex-friend, in front of me when he knew I liked him. Probably because he knew I liked him."

I tried imagining Tobirama doing that, but failed. I didn't have any friends, but if I did, seeing something like that would hurt a lot, and the one flirting knowing I had feelings and flirting nonetheless would hurt even more.