The Bar Stool

You really are shit at apologies.

I don't think tears have ever burned so much like these do. I don't even want to keep them open while I wrap into the arms of my friends.

I didn't know any of this was going to happen let alone have my fucking boyfriend straight up call me a slut to my face.

I'm not even close to that. I wasn't even cheating.

I knew when I saw Axle at the bar something was going to happen. He said he was there for business purposes, but in the midst of trying to stop it Tanner just had to fucking be there.

He always is. Fucking always.

I don't know if he meant what he said or said it out of anger but for the time being I am not speaking to him. I won't answer his countless calls or texts. Nothing, I will answer nothing.

Axle kept talking to me telling me how much he needed and wanted me, how he can give me so much more, but I said no. I put my foot down, but he always steps on it and fucking pushes the limits.

And Tanner has to have this radar. Or he just doesn't trust me. Of course, him seeing Axle and I with him kissing me gave him that reason. But I didn't want it... I didn't want it.

You said that already.

Bella explains to me that is was most likely said out of anger, that everything will die over and we will be okay.

With Tanner I never know. I never will at this point. I wish it was much easier than it seems. I wish I could call him back and tell him it's okay I know he didn't mean it, but I'm not going to give in that easy. We need a few days. Just a few days.

***

My phone has been non stop buzzing since Monday night after everything happened. And I still have not replied. I'm staying with Carly and Ethan just for a few days so I don't risk having him coming to my house and my dad being there.

That wouldn't be good.

Thank god I have today off.

Ethan is at work and Carly and I are sort of being lazy today: movies , ice cream and talking. More talking than anything.

"Should I just answer it?"

"Uh, no." She purses her lips at me. "You answer it I'm throwing it in the toilet.

"I'd kill you."

"Exactly my point. Don't answer it, let him suffer."

"He says he's been to my house fifteen times and each time my dad has slammed the door in his face."

"Did you tell your dad?"

"Hell, no. I can deal with it. But I did tell him to slam the door in his face. He questioned it, but didn't push it. So its working."

She laughs, studding more ice cream in her mouth. "You're evil."

"No, I'm strong. And don't put up with shit."

"And this is why I envy you." I look at my best friend and frown.

"What's going on?" I look at her with sincere concern.

She sighs, setting the bowl of chocolate chunk ice cream on the table beside her and moves folding her legs in front of her. "Ethan and I are not okay... At all."

I scoot closer, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "As in?"

"We're breaking up. I didn't want to bring it up. Because you're having trouble too. It just seems like too much at one time."