𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄. ranboo (complete)

𝐗𝐋. BUT COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TO GO

❝ PRETTY FACE ❞
August 27th, 2021

REAL LIFE — THEO!

A NUMB FEELING CLAIMED THEO after that. The days passed by in a blur and Theo wasn't sure what month it was by the time he plucked up the courage to stream again. He and Techno had agreed that when Techno uploaded his video explaining his cancer, Theo would stream for the first time in over a month, having taken a break for 'personal reasons — and if Techno uploaded his video and Theo gave people time to watch it before going live, Theo wouldn't have to explain to his chat why he had taken such a long break.

He couldn't even say the word cancer without feeling his eyes well with tears, so it was for the best that he didn't try to explain everything.

It was about three hours after Techno uploaded his video, and Theo was staring at his Starting Soon screen, watching chat freak out over him being live. It had been over a month, of course, and Theo was coming back the day Techno announced his illness to the world, so he could cut his audience a little slack over their less-than-needed reaction to his reappearance.

He had covered the camera that was pointing at him, not wanting to risk it turning on and forcing him to face reveal, especially when he hadn't washed his hair in about a week and looked like a walking corpse more than he looked like a person. Putting that next to his combination of Techno's too-big sweater and sweatpants that hadn't seen a washer in a week-and-a-half and Theo was sure that he wasn't the most attractive streamer at the moment.

Tubbo had said as much that morning, when Theo stumbled into the kitchen for breakfast, and Ranboo had swiftly kicked his ankle to shut him up when Theo gave Tubbo a blank look.

After ten minutes, Theo realized he should probably start his stream now or he never would. He quickly switched to his gameplay screen, his Minecraft character staring down at the Prime Path as Theo unmuted the microphone.

"Let me get this out of the way," Theo said, voice hoarse. He'd been crying, screaming, and refusing food and water when he could for a while now, and it showed by how rough his voice sounded. "If you came to the stream to find out more information about Techno, you've gone to the wrong place. If I talk about what's going on I'm going to have a mental breakdown and stream and I'm not at the point in my career where that works in my favor. So shut up and enjoy me playing Minecraft."

He took a shaky breath as he moved his character, wandering around the SMP. He should have waited longer before returning — or maybe he shouldn't have returned at all.

Theo realized that he was steering his character in the direction of Techno's home. He quickly backtracked and headed for the Community House, seeing that a lot of people were online — Phil, Wilbur, and Tommy caught his attention, and then Puffy, Niki, Hannah and Punz. Dream and Sapnap were on too, and George was quick to log on as well.

Theo didn't want to sound egotistical, but he was sure that they had all logged on to reassure him that he had friends around him. That, or he was seriously behind in the Discord to not know they had a lore stream going on.

No one DMd him to VC, waiting for Theo to feel comfortable enough to join their calls; Theo wasn't sure he was ready for that. He loved them, they were his friends, but they weren't exactly subtle when it came to emotions and Theo knew just one, "Are you okay?" from Dream would have him bawling his eyes out.

"Seems like we should, uh, organize the Community House chests again," Theo muttered. The house had been re-built after Dream had blown it up, and there were no chests to be found, but Theo was willing to work with what he had.

Tubbo and Ranboo couldn't log on to the server — or, they could, if they wanted to play on their laptops, but Theo had told them not to bother with the uncomfortable playing style. It wasn't fair to make them come on just for him not to talk to them out of fear of his voice shaking too much.

He really should have taken a longer break.

"You know, I think Phil's been trying to re-make L'Manhole, maybe we should check it out," he murmured. Chat was being encouraging — it was pretty hard not to be when Theo and his mods had blacklisted the words Techno, cancer, and America from being said in chat. That left only a slew of encouragement toward Theo organizing the Community House once again, which he was thankful for. He loved his chat, really, even if he bullied them most of the time.

"How did we like Tommy's vlog?" Theo asked. "Sorry I wasn't in the trampoline one for longer, I don't know if the footage made sense but I got hit in the nose and stayed out for the rest of the time. The Ninja Warrior one was great though! I loved getting to meet Phil in person for the first time "

Chat sped by quickly, letting him know what they thought about Tommy's vlogs. There was a mix of love — the vlogs were amazing — and disappointment — Theo wasn't as featured as they would like. Theo was glad to know that people noticed when he wasn't on screen, though he felt a little bad that Tommy's videos weren't getting as much love because Theo made more rare appearances than Ranboo did.

The stream managed to make it forty minutes — only thirty minutes of Theo actually streaming — until something soured Theo's mood.

He was beginning to feel better, in fact; chat was being nice, Theo was distracting himself from Techno's situation, and he was actually feeling himself start to smile as he continued his stream.

And then Theo was reminded that he had donations on as the typical stream reader said, "Why are you back in America with Techno when he's sick? That seems pretty fucked."

All at once, Theo was thrown back into his depressive episode, eyes blurring with tears. His hands had stilled, Minecraft character having stopped in front of Church Prime, and his legs shook with nerves.

"Fuck you," Theo managed to rasp out before he ended the stream, sitting back in the chair and staring at the black screen with a blank look.

Theo blinked and realized he had been staring at the screen for five minutes, sitting in silence as his brain refused to process what had just happened. Had he been too harsh? It was a valid question, of course, why wasn't Theo back in America? It was pretty fucked, because Theo was being a bad brother, Techno could die and Theo wouldn't be there, and—

A hand on his shoulder, startling him. Theo looked up as Tubbo put a plate of food down in front of him, sitting next to Theo in the free chair Theo usually sat in if Ranboo or Tubbo was streaming with the camera on. He tilted his head as he looked at Theo, giving him a considering once-over.

"Do you need to cry or scream, Boss Man?" he asked simply. Theo looked away from him, blinking back tears.

"I just want to fall asleep forever," Theo muttered.

Tubbo smiled slightly. "Don't do that, you'll die," he said, pushing the plate toward Theo. "Look, I'm not the best with emotions and stuff, but I hope you find comfort surrounded by friends. You know that Ranboo and I are always there for you if you need a hug. Tommy is only a train ride away, and I'm sure Wilbur and Phil would come down to talk if you needed to. You aren't alone, Theo."

Theo felt a lump forming in his throat. He pointedly looked away from Tubbo as he spoke, knowing that if he looked at the other boy he was going to start sobbing. Tubbo reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "I know you're scared, Boss Man. But Techno is in the best hands he can be in."

Theo nodded sharply, whispering a soft, "I know." Tubbo seemed to realize that Theo needed him gone, so he stood up and pat Theo's shoulder before going back into the kitchen.

Theo left the food on the desk as he stood up, stumbling over to the couch and collapsing onto the soft fabric. He heard the soft padding footsteps of someone entering the room again, socks against the hardwood floors, and then felt himself being sat up.

Ranboo sat down and pulled Theo into his arms a moment later, holding Theo against his chest.

"Let it out," he murmured softly, Theo feeling the rumble of Ranboo speaking against his ear, pressed against Ranboo's chest.

Ranboo held him as he cried and as he slept, keeping quiet as he let Theo process, knowing that Theo couldn't handle words of assurance but still needed that soft touch to remind him that he wasn't alone.