Little Do They Know

Chapter 17 - Making Lemonade

When life hands you lemons, you are obliged to make it into lemonade. When it gives you a fresh start, you are obliged to make it count. I knew that my fresh start meant leaving behind Willow. I knew it meant making the most out of my life for my parents. I was obliged to do that, for them. But some part of me had always wished that someone knew. That someone would soon discover my secret and expose me to the world. I would no longer have to live in secrecy. No longer have to live in fear. But, somehow, it was, possibly, one of the best kept secrets ever held.

We won the She Believes that year, but all I could think about, throughout the tournament, was the necklace. It was a locket that was given to me when I was born. It had my (old) initials etched onto the outside, and if opened, it revealed a tiny pocket, with space for a photo. Last time I remember having it, there was a photo of me, Mum and Dad placed inside, from when I was very young. We were all happy, all smiling. The locket was meant to be a keepsake for me, for when I was older. My parents always predicted that one of them may leave me earlier than expected. They did plan for the possibility of their death. It was only unfortunate that they had to happen simultaneously.

Jill Roord had my necklace. Jill Roord. The Arsenal midfielder, and Dutch star. Indi's girlfriend as well. None of it made sense in my brain. None of it was processed. I was left thinking about was the fact that Jill had my necklace from when I was eight, and all I wanted was to figure out why on earth she could possibly be wearing it.

"Glad that's been won," I said to Emily, referencing the She Believes Tournament, as we spent our last day together before I had to head back to Manchester.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, with the Olympics only a few months away, I'm just glad we won it. It puts us in the best possible place going into the tournament."

"And we did win the hard game, against Canada," Emily added.

"That we sure did." I smiled at her, and placed my head on her shoulder, trying to soak up the last little while we had together. Before I came back for camp, things were slightly weird with her. My brain was getting scrambled with the impacts of long distance, but once I saw her again, and once I spent time with her, I knew that nothing could separate us. Nothing could come between us. It was me and Emily, against the world.

"I'm going to miss you," I said to her, before Sam, Rose, Christen, Tobin and I headed to the airport.

"I'll see you soon," she said, trying to help me forget my doubts.

"Hm," I sighed, "when?"

"Next break," she replied, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ears.

"Next break," I repeated. I gave her a sweet kiss, hugged her tight, and hopped into the Uber with Sam and Rose.

"You okay?" Sam asked me, as she saw me looking out the window at Emily.

"Yeah, I'll be okay."

"Got any big plans for the next few weeks?" Sam joked, thinking I would only be training, but in reality, I did have plans. Plans that, at the time, were much larger than I even realised. Plans to work out what really happened 16 years ago.

"No plans," I responded, not letting my best friend in on my expedition, "no plans at all."

When I arrived back in Manchester, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away from the pitch. I wanted to go back to the club, and start preparing for the second half of the season. There wasn't an official training, on the sunday that I arrived, but I decided to head over anyways. I wanted to practice by myself, in the comfort of a pitch that I know.

When I arrived at the United training grounds, I hurried on to the pitch. I was so excited to be alone with the ball, the goal and my thoughts. It was my safe spot. It was where I felt the most at peace.