Little Do They Know

Chapter 5 - Grudges

I've normally let fate guide me. I know the world isn't predetermined, and I know we live in a place where each and every one of our tiny, insignificant decisions can have everlasting impacts, but I still don't want to think about that. When I feel I need to do something, I normally do it. When I have the urge to fulfil a calling, I go out and I try to succeed. I don't want to think about each decision, and instead, let the voices in my head tell me what I should do.

So, when I got the opportunity to play in the UK, it wasn't my family or my friends that convinced me to do it, it was me. I knew the voice inside my head was pushing me and urging me to fulfil a new dream, a dream I didn't even realise I wanted so badly until I came over to the UK. But, now that I am here, I feel like I need more than fate guiding me. I need the strong mind that I know that I have. I need the ambition and will that is embedded so deep within my core, and myself. If I want to prove myself, and my new team, I need to let more than fate just help me, I need to help myself.

"Tottenham on the weekend," Marc said, after our final training session of the week, "I expect more from you all this round. We have a chance to get the full three points, and I want each one of you to bring your best game. We need to be working together, as a team. We need cohesion and communication. That is what wins us games." I agreed with him. If we wanted to win, and if we wanted to fight for a top three finish, we needed to bring more to the table than what we brought against Arsenal. We need the grit and fight I know me and my new teammates have.

I was last on the bus and I soon saw that the only available seat was beside Millie Turner. I tried to not look like I was actively aiming to find a new seat, but when Millie and I locked eyes, I knew I was going to be sitting beside her, all the way to London.

"Hey," she said, as I sat beside her.

"Hi," I replied.

"Want a snack?" She asked, offering me some crisps and dips.

"Oh, thank you." I took some crisps and we started to talk.

"So, how are you liking England?" she asked, "have you settled alright?"

"I think so," I replied, "I really like it over here. I feel like I belong."

"That's great," Millie replied, "we want people to feel like that. This league is growing and it's going to be the best one very soon if not already the best. You have a chance to make an even bigger name for yourself in Europe, I think."

During the trip down to London, I got to know Millie. She told me about her family, and her friends, and I mentioned briefly my move back to Massachusetts and growing up with my Uncle and Aunt. She was, like most people, fairly in awe of my story. She couldn't believe that I grew up in the micronations of Europe.

"Can I ask you something?" Millie said, quietly, as most of the other girls slept on the bus.

"Sure," I replied.

"Why don't you hate me?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You're meant to hate me."

"Millie, I really don't understand."

"I mean, I'm kinda seeing one of your best friends' exes, and for some reason, you don't hate me."

"I try not to hate people," I answered, honestly.

"That's amazing," she replied, shocked, "I'm not sure if I would be doing the same if I was you."

"I've realised that we can't spend our lives not liking people. There's no point. Everyone we meet is fighting a battle we know nothing about, so being kind is a no brainer."

"I've heard things about you Bradie, before you came," Millie started to say, "they've all been good. I don't think there's a single person I know who doesn't like Bradie Van Dyk." Well, I know one.

When we arrived in London, we headed to the game. We were up against one American, Alex Morgan. When I first entered the USWNT scene, she was someone I looked up to. She was the kind of striker I wanted to be. She was hungry for goals, and always gave it her everything. But, when I started improving and earning my spot in the starting 11, she didn't like that. We were, in a sense, fighting for the same position, and competition is good, until it starts to become unhealthy and toxic. I've never been close to her since.

During the match, it was a tight tussle. We were having slightly more possession than they were, but it was fairly matched. Neither team had scored by half time, and while we were in the changing room, Marc said some words.

"Now, I want us to utilise our front line. Midfielders, I beg you, please find good space and pass that bloody ball to one of the Americans. They will give us a goal. That's all I asked." I was watching the midfielders look at him, and while I glanced around the room, I caught eyes with Jackie. She didn't have the normal sour expression she has, but rather looked calm and collected.

As we walked out, Jackie came beside me.

"I'm going to receive the ball a half way, and bring the ball forward down the wing, I want you to make a lead into the box, and I'll cross it in. Got it?" i looked at her, stunned she was even speaking to me.

"Yeah, okay."

That's what happened. Jackie received the ball on the half way line, and then dribbled along the wing. She crossed it in, and I got my head to it, pushing the ball into the back of the net. Not only was it my first goal for United, but it was also the match winner. After I had scored, the girls came up to me, and gave me a celebratory hug and pat on the back. Jackie didn't. She went back to halfway to resume the game. At least now, her dislike for me doesn't affect our soccer. That's a positive, right?

After the game, Tobin and Christen went up to Alex, while I headed back into the changing room. I was the first to go into the room, or so I thought. As I entered the room where our bags lined the walls, I saw her sitting there, already untying her shoes.

"Sorry, I can go," I said, turning around, not wanting to cause any drama.

"It's fine," she replied, "it's your changing room too." When I heard her speak in silence, I noticed her strong dutch accent when contrasted against my American one.

"Good assist, by the way," I said to her, after a little while of sitting in silence.

"We don't need to do the small talk thing," Jackie replied.

"Oh, okay," I answered, hating myself for saying anything to begin with. All I wanted was just to be civil, and not to have one of my new teammates dislike me. Why did this have to happen?

All the girls started coming in, making me relieved that I wasn't stuck in a room with Jackie alone any longer.

After the match, I posted a picture from after I scored, smiling at my teammates.

Bradievandyk: proud of this win + my first goal :) @manunitedwomen

Indiharrison: always stellar my girl x

Sammymewyy: many more goals to come

Kmewis19: soooo gooooddd

Emilysonnett: need to work on ur celebrations

I was happy to have scored my first goal for United, but I only hoped that whatever grudge Jackie had against me, would fade soon enough because I wanted nothing more than to help my new club achieve greatness and this wouldn't happen unless we had a team that supported each other.

note:

- first of all, we don't talk about the tillies anymore. i now support the lionesses and the lionesses only :(

- secondly, ive put another tv show quote in and if u can find it, ill love u cause its from my fav tv show ever

- three, hope u enjoy, let me know ur thoughts/predictions/queries.