Is this the final stop? (Toni Shalifoe)

Chapter 49

Still a little groggy from her nap, Toni squints at the bright light turned on in the living room. An obvious sign that the night is ending and they have to leave. There is no braid in her hair. Shelby must have taken it out before she woke up, hiding the moment from Toni.

Toni sighs, knowing how much she'll miss tonight, miss this moment. One she'll replay in her mind probably the minute she gets back to her own room. She hugs Bernice tight, Bernice strokes her back in the hug. Then Martha piles in and joins the hug. Squeezing both of them closer. Toni laughs, but barely has enough remaining air to breathe.

Jobeth doesn't fight Shelby when she basically shrieks that she'll drive Toni back. Toni watches the blonde's eyes dart around. From the door to the floor then back to Toni. She looks at her for a longer moment, trying to send a nonverbal message of comfort. Shelby looks away.

The women all walk out together, Jobeth bidding adieu to the girls, "Meet you there! And it's not a race!" She eyes Toni with a smile. Toni returns it and laughs. Jobeth gets into her minivan and drives off.

Shelby fumbles with the keys to the car, leaving Toni out at the passenger side awkwardly waiting. Shelby prays Toni can't see her trembling hands, unable to steady them and thumb the button to unlock the car. Seeing the little green leaf with her scribbled near-declaration of love for Toni has shaken Shelby.

Toni doesn't say anything, just waits. She puts her hand in her pocket, the fingers fiddling with the note. But after an extended moment, and still nothing from Shelby, she rounds the car, "Hey, you okay?"

Shelby nods curtly, "Oh, definitely." Her keys jingle as she tries to fit the key into the car door. It knocks around the edges of the keyhole.

"Maybe press the button?" Toni offers, trying to help. Knowing it's not really about the car. Or the keys. "Or I could try, you know, since I'm the key and all," she lightly jokes. Thinking back to the note in Goodnight Moon about Toni being the key.

Shelby shakes her head in frustration, hands shaking at the door. Toni grabs both of them, holding them together. But Shelby looks around, "Maybe we shouldn't do this outside of Martha's house?

"Nah, they're already making their way to bed. It's on the other side of the house, faces the backyard," Toni replies effortlessly. She squints up at the streetlight they stand under, "Can we talk?"

Shelby nods. The couch moment goes unspoken. Shelby's not brave enough to tell her. Shelby's not brave enough for a lot of things.

"Okay," Toni responds, awkwardly standing, changing her weight on her feet.

"Okay," Shelby says back.

"I got your texts."

Shelby looks nervous, "Oh?"

Toni looks hopeful, "You said nice things. I mean, after some really shitty things before that. But, I appreciate them."

Shelby winces at the thought, shutting her eyes, but nods, agreeing. "I know. And God, I'm sorry. I had like a lot I had been wantin' to say to you. Face to face. But now... I guess, now that I'm here I can't—" Shelby paces away from her, hand on head, "I can't get them out."

Toni watches her, leans on the side of the car, she sticks her hands back into her sweatshirt. Maybe looking for comfort. From the leaf.

"No space station tonight," Toni says, looking up at the sky. She sees lightning in the distance.

Shelby looks up, too, "We just can't see it because of the clouds." Toni looks back at her, furrowed eyebrows. Shelby shrugs, "I got a text."

Toni rolls her eyes, but stays quiet. It's a comfortable silence. Giving Shelby the time she needs.