It's about 3 in the afternoon and I'm waiting for track practice to start with my friends in the locker room. They're talking about today's boy and I couldn't be more disinterested. But then into the locker room walks a girl I've never seen before. My eyes flicker to her, but I don't let myself look for too long. I don't want to seem like an asshole.
The girl puts her bag down on a bench and begins to change, making my gaze immediately shoot away from her. I pretend to be paying attention to the conversation but I can't help it and take a quick look. Instantly I feel disgusted with myself, why couldn't I just stare at the ground? I know I like girls, but in spaces where you're assumed to be straight, it can make me feel like an outsider. Like some creep who doesn't deserve to be there. I push myself up from where I'm sitting and quickly leave, my breath hitching when I walk past the mystery girl to get to the door.
Not too long after my escape from the locker room practice starts. We all circle up until my coach motions for the new girl up to come up to the front, "Jane Hopper, why don't you introduce yourself?"
She smiles, setting off the butterflies in my stomach, "Hi guys! I'm Jane, I just moved here and decided to join the team since I liked track at my old school. Anyways, I'm a junior and I'm excited to get started!"
Our coach smiles approvingly, "Alright everyone, why don't you partner up and do a warm-up in the neighborhoods. Easy run, so same pace as your buddy!"
Everyone pairs up and my friend Lori comes up to me, "Ready?"
I shake my head, "Jane doesn't have a partner, I was going to ask her."
Lori sneakily looks at Jane, "She seems nice."
"Go run with Becca and Julie." Lori walks away with and I go over to Jane. She's drinking from her water bottle, and quickly puts it down and wipes her face when she sees me coming over. "Hey, I'm Max, want to run with me?" I ask her, with a nervousness present in my voice.
Her face lights up, "Yes! Yeah, yeah, sure! That'd be good."
I nod, amused by her reaction, "Ok let's head out."
We jog alongside each other for a few minutes and get to know one another. I learn that she moved to Hawkins with her parents and two brothers from New York so her dad could be the chief of police. She tells me about her old school and friends, and I tell her about Hawkins High drama and what there is to do for fun around here. Eventually, we get to the topic of dating.
"So, do you have a boyfriend?" she asks with a tease in her voice.
Chuckling I answer her, "No, and I don't plan on it. Don't try to date any of the guys here, they'll all never leave this town. Plus, you could do better."
Jane laughs, "Not all of them are horrible. Some of them aren't bad-looking, right?"
"I don't know, I'm not really checking them out."
"Haven't you dated anyone?" she asks.
Shaking my head, "Yes but it was a long time ago, we're just friends now."
"Ooh, who?" she asks.
"Lucas Sinclair."
Jane grabs my arm, "Can we walk for a minute? I'm kind of winded, I haven't run in a bit."
I slow down, "Yeah, sure."
"So, do you want a boyfriend?"
I snort, "No, never again."
She smiles, "Yeah me either."
Pursing my lips I decide to probe further, "You had one?"
She scoffs, "A while ago. Boys aren't for me."
"So, no relationship ever again?"
Jane turns red, "I didn't say that."
A realization hits me, "Oh.."
I see tears welling up in Jane's eyes. She smiles despite them, "Do you want a relationship someday?"
My heart beats faster, "I'd like one."
Jane nods, "So you get it?"
I wipe my brow, not knowing whether the sweat is from running or this conversation, "Do I get what?"
"How it feels-"
"To be different," I say as I take a seat on a boulder.
Jane sits next to me, "Are we talking about the same thing? I want to be sure."
I take her chin in my hand, feeling the softness of her skin under my light touch. My pent-up feelings of internalized frustration and pure longing for someone who understands exactly how I feel melt away. All those times I've imagined how it felt to be myself are channeled as I press my forehead against hers. Every time I've wanted to scream at the top of my lungs when I don't fit in transforms into my newfound passion for her.
"Kiss me," she whispers.
I feel my heart swell as the heat of her lips erupts against mine. I've pretended to be "normal" for so long. Every day spent like this has chipped away at what it means to be me, to feel like me. But now, now I feel the broken shards of myself coming back together. My brain becoming a peaceful place for me to reside in. Everything about this moment is what I've needed for years. I want to cry, though that might seem ridiculous. We pull away and I look into her eyes, happiness dancing around me. I needed this more than anything in my life.
A/N: 10k reads guys! Right from my heart, thank you.
