I'm riding away from 5280 Cherry Road on my bike with just my backpack, skateboard, and a few plastic shopping bags filled with clothes hanging from the handlebars of my bike. I'm leaving for good. Neil came into my room and informed me that a man he works with saw me kissing a girl behind the arcade and that he and my mother had made the decision to ask me to move out. Which really means he decided to kick me out. He told me I should leave as soon as I could get my things together, and that's what I did. I know where I'm going, and oddly, I'm calm as I bike away. Where I'm headed will be better. I'm not happy about what's happening, I'm leaving my mother. But I'm not sad because she chose Neil over me. That was her decision. She chose him. Him over me. I stop my bike, hopping off, I'm here.
"Max," El said as she walks over to me, a sad smile on her face.
I lean my bike against the cabin, "Hey."
El puts her hand on my shoulder, "Are you okay?"
I grab my stuff and nod, "I'm good."
El makes a face, "Do you not want to talk about it yet?"
I start walking to the door, "Not ever."
As El closes the door behind us Hopper gets out of his recliner, "Hey kid. You alright?"
I'm about to say something snarky, but El cuts in, "She wants to not think about it."
Hopper sits back in his chair and grabs his beer, I eye it and cringe a little. Hopper notices and puts it back down, grabbing a magazine instead. As El and I walk into her room we hear him grunt, "Three inches."
I hear El mutter under her breath, "Jeez." That makes me smile. I put my stuff on the floor and go up behind her as she cracks the door, hugging her around the waist from behind. El turns around and puts her arms around my neck, putting her head on my shoulder. I kiss her head and let out a relieved exhale from my nose, I'm safe.
One month later
"MAX! Max wake up!" I open my eyes, breathing heavily. El is sitting up in the bed, hovering over me, concern in her expression.
I swallow and force a smile, "I'm okay, I just had a bad dream. My imagination just wanted to shit with me a little tonight."
El gives me a look, "You mean every night."
I swallow and notice that my fists are clenched, I release them. There are nail marks on my skin. I shake my head, "El, listen, they're just a few bad dreams. I'm fine. Let's just go back to bed, ok?"
El sits up straight, "No. You listen. You have bad dreams every single night. You say you don't want to talk, but how will you get better? I know you aren't okay. You worry about your mom, and he is in your dreams. You say his name, I hear you. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't let me!" El's voice breaks a little at the end, she looks at me with sadness in her eyes, sadness for me.
This, this is my breaking point, pity, she pities me. I feel rage boiling inside me, and I explode. "DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! IF I TELL YOU I DON'T WANT TO TALK YOU NEED TO RESPECT THAT! I know your life has sucked, I know you've worked through your shit. But I want to forget mine! I can't go on remembering it, I can't, I just can't..." I'm on the verge of tears and I run out of El's room and out the front door, pushing past Hopper as he tries to stop me. El is coming after me but I'm already on my bike, my anger powering my feet as I bike as fast as I can away from that cabin. This time I don't know where I'm going.
I've been biking for a while. I don't know what time it is and I don't really care. I'm done caring. The only person who I thought was my person looked at me the same way my mother looked at me as she watched Neil beat the shit out of me. And that really did it for me. The same look, that same I want to help you but I can't look. That pity look. I'm going so fast, just going, not anywhere in particular. But I find myself at the same place where it all started.
"Come on!" I pull El out the back door of the arcade.
"Max! Why did you take me here?"
I smirk and go in for a kiss, pressing her up against the wall. El wraps her arms around me and I do the same, both oblivious to the world around us. Right now it's just me and her.
Until we're interrupted by an angry voice, "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GIRLS DOING!" El and I pull away, startled. We turn to the voice, it's a man, red-faced, fists clenched, coming towards us.
El grabs my forearm and whispers, "Run."
And I do, hand in hand with El. As we run away I hear the man say one last thing that makes my heart drop, "I KNOW IT'S YOU MAYFIELD!"
I'm pulled out of my memories by a different voice, "Mayfield?" It's Keith, "What are you doing here? We're not open yet." I look around, my bike is on the ground and I'm sitting up against the brick wall. I don't remember what happened. I think I fell off my bike. I don't feel good either. Keith seems to notice that, "I'm calling your place." I open my mouth to stop him but instead throw up on the pavement, starting to cry a little. I grimace and pull my hair out of my face. There goes last night's dinner. Keith hurries inside. I guess he isn't used to seeing me vulnerable, no one is. So I can't really blame him for being put off. I'm usually pretty good at hiding my emotions. El made that clear. El. I wonder if she's looking for me?
Some time goes by, accompanied by a few awkward pats on the back from Keith as he waits by me, checking his watch a few times a minute as he finishes off a bag of cheese puffs. I want to leave, but I can't. Everything hurts and if I tried to get up I'd be afraid that I'd fall right back over. I hear a car pull up and someone getting out, I wince as the car door slams and hurried footsteps near me. "Maxine? Honey? Are you ok?" It's my mom's voice, no Neil. Keith seems to think that I'm in safe hands and goes back inside. I want to scream to him to save me from what I know is going to come. But instead, my mother comes towards me and falls on her knees, engulfing me in a hug. I feel like I'm the one comforting her. My mom looks at me and takes my face in her hands, she's taken aback when she notices my hostile expression, but I don't care. She motions towards my knee, "What happened?" That's the first time I've heard that.
Usually, she just ignores my injuries, tells me I should be more careful on my skateboard. I turn away, trying to get up, "Nothing." As I'm trying to push myself up my mom pulls me up and starts to try to take me to the car. I resist, "Are you shitting me right now?"
My mother gives me a look, "Maxine! Language." I roll my eyes. Then my mother gets timid, looks down, "He's not home. He's at the bar. There was a football game on...I don't think he should be home for a while."
I shake my head, "Do you know what he'd do to me? Don't you remember what happened? He kicked me out mom." I wait for her to say something, do something, anything.
And then she does. "I won't let him hurt you." She says that just as Keith comes out, carrying a trash bag. He must have heard that. And it doesn't take someone bright to put the pieces together. Neil isn't exactly known as the nice guy. "Let's go," my mom says. I take a deep breath. Neil isn't home. It's ok, I'll be ok. Right?
I wait as my mom comes to the passenger side to help me out, she insisted...or her conscience is getting the best of her. That would be a first. We go to walk inside and I freeze at the entryway, I feel a hand on my shoulder and flinch. Then I remember that it's just my mom, that she wouldn't hurt me. Not directly anyway. I take a look at her, making sure she sees into my eyes. I hope this makes her feel like shit. I know that Neil makes her feel powerless, but at this point, there's no excuse that could make me forgive her. She's had enough chances to make things better. Every time Neil goes away for a fishing trip, or to the bar to watch a game, every time she had a chance to get us away. And she chose not to. But why? How could she choose him? My mother puts her hand on my shoulder, slowly this time, and guides me inside to the living room where we sit on the couch. She seems stressed. I'm sure this marriage took at least a few years off her life. I'm sure it took a few off mine. My childhood anyways. But then our silence, our quiet thinking, is interrupted by a slam of the front door. Neil.
A/N: The next part is a continuation of this.
