"Mikayla this just seems a little ridiculous." Matt exclaimed for the 1000th time this week.
It was Thursday and I was leaving early Saturday morning.
"What does?"
"New York. New York is ridiculous."
"Matt it's the opportunity of a lifetime. New York and management." And I'll be away from you, although I didn't add that.
"I get that.....but New York."
I closed my suitcase and looked at him. "You can visit." But I secretly hoped he didn't.
"I will be visiting, don't you worry."
Damn. "Good."
"I wish you'd let me throw a party."
"I don't want a party Matt, honestly."
He wanted to have a party but I didn't. I didn't want any fuss, I just wanted to go. Now I was looking forward to this move, I was looking forward to getting away from Matt, away from my feelings for Matt.
"That's fine but you're spending tomorrow with me."
I turned and looked at him sitting on my bed. "Matt it's fine."
He reached out and pulled me onto his lap. "I'll miss you."
"You'll miss the sex." I said bluntly.
"Pffft." He said pulling a face. "Maybe a little."
I shook my head at him.
"We could make up for it." He said, laying me on the bed.
No no no, no we could not. But he leant down and kissed me and I couldn't help but reach up and wrap my fingers in his hair. God his kisses drove me crazy.
"I really will miss you though." He murmured.
"I'm sure."
"Mikayla." He whispered, looking down at me. "I'm serious, I will miss you." He kissed me. "Alot."
"Alot?" How much was alot?
"Yes alot alright."
Oh fuck this, this man drove me insane.
"Show me how much." I whispered.
"Show you?"
I nodded, kissing him and reaching down to his belt. "Show me."
"Are you just using me for the sex?" He murmured, pulling my shirt up.
If he only knew.
"Just shut up and show me."
And he showed me, and if it was anything to go by he was going to miss me alot.
After we layed in bed, Matt had me in his arms, I guess he was snoozing. I stared at the wall thinking and I found myself crying again.
I was so in love with Matt it hurt. It was going to kill me to leave, to go to New York, but he was the reason I was going.
It would kill me stay.
