sunsets

26 september 2012

age 16

i hear the door slam and i flinch. thank god he's gone. i lean myself up against the wall to give myself some comfort, well whatever comfort i can get im thankful for. i sit there for a while, trying to decide what to do, or where to go. but those thoughts are quickly interrupted by a knock on the door. 

shit. what if hes back?

the knocking continues and i know its not charlie. he would yelling the apartment blocks down by now.

i use the wall to hoist myself up and hobble over to the door, try to make myself somewhat presentable, and open the door. and i find someone who i really dont want to see. actually the person i dont want to see the second most. straight after charlie.

harry.

"maddie" he says with a gasp. i guess i forgot about the bruise on my eye.

i comes close and hugs me tightly, "its charlie isnt it? that dick!" he says pulling off me and stepping back. "no it's not. i walked into the beam downstairs. how dare you come here and accuse him" i say back. 

i cant believe im defending charlie. i cant believe im lying to harry. i cant believe im still in love with charlie.

"you have to kidding madds. everytime i come here you've got some new injury which somehow has the perfect excuse." he says now a bit annoyed. its probably quite obvious that im lying. but im not giving into him.

"im sorry if im prone to injuries while i live here. and im sorry you're not around to make sure i dont hurt myself but this is my life. i can live whoever i want" i retort back,

"thats not the point maddie and you know that. i know hes hurting you. you dont get back eyes, cut marks, bruises and injured muscles and limbs from doing the things you say are what caused them." he tries to reason,

"well i did." i say back now walking off into the living room so the neighbours dont hear us fighting.

"what happened?" he asks pausing, "we used to be so close, tell each other everything. and now, you wont look me in the eye. tell me to leave. what happened?" he asks again. i feel bad for him. but i act like i dont.

"i dont know, i guess weve grown apart." i state blatantly. he looks hurt by this statement. but i dont know if i care. if i care, i might tell him everything. and that might get him hurt. probably from charlie. and those people that keep coming over.

"what?" he asks quietly, "well you have your thing going now, your all famous. you dont need me anymore. and, well, ive got my thing going. ive got a good job, career, boyfriend. maybe i dont need you either" i say. as soon as those words come out of my mouth i realise i dont mean them.

they sound wrong. they feel wrong. and by the look on harry's face i can tell; they are wrong.

he looks down and nods, accepting what ive said, and doesnt even try to fight me about it. "i guess i go then." he says not looking at me, "yeah, i guess you should" i say and follow him out of the room and back to the door, 

"have a good life maddison. and uh im sorry, i guess i was wrong about charlie" he says, 

"you too" i give him a small smile and he shuts the door, "no haz, you were right. im sorry" i say to the door, even though i know harry's left.