camp // jenlisa

Chapter 4: Let Them Go

The bottle stood right before her, the familiar pills were laid inside but her feet were still stood frozen on the ground. She couldn't help but hate the look of them or the constant reminder they gave of something she tried to push back to the furthest place in her brain.

She sometimes didn't know where she were going, feeling lost in her own grasp of life. Trying to hold it dearly between her fingers but all she got back was how it slowly slipped away between her fingers.

She couldn't help but cross the questions about why. But it wasn't anyone's fault, she can't blame anyone. So even if the life is slipping away she just needs to get down on her knees and pick it up again.

No matter what she always did that, which everyone adored so much from her. The way she never gave up no matter what happened, no matter what came In her way she would stand up again on her legs.

But did they really see the hurt she felt from the way her legs slowly are giving up from picking it up again?

I don't think so...

"Hey! That's my butter"

"I touched it first, go get your own butterhead!"

Jisoo and Jimin bickered first thing in the morning in the cafeteria. Both fighting over the last butter laying on the table around the four of them
friends.

Jennie chuckled at the two of her fighting friends while Yoongi was embarrassed from all the stares being sent towards their table. He really wished he had a volume remote right now.

"Look what you did! You're making Yoongi rethinking our friendship!"

Jimin yelled at Jisok face when he noticed the expression on Yoongis face, who actually started rethinking their friendship after Jimins comment making the brown haired girl laugh louder.

After the bickering died down they all shared the last butter as a solution, they decided to head outside to look around the camp since they never got the chance to do so.

"Woah, it's so beautiful"

Jennie said as her eyes sparkled when she observed the trees colored bright green from the sun. The bright light hitting her eyes but she didn't understand why everything suddenly turned darker the more she looked into the light.

The peaceful sound of the birds chirping was blocked by the yelling of her name.....

--------

It became something conventional. Something repeated like a routine for her to be met with different looking ceiling every now and then. The first seconds of being woken by the forgotten events before this, was the different colored ceilings looking down at her.

It felt strange everytime, always having the first thought in her mind being if she was alive right now or just laying peacefully in her deathbed.

But even though it became something usual for her and her closest ones beside her, she was still having the unwanted scared feeling deep in her heart.

They didn't understand how scary it was waking up everytime in her once comfortable bed, not remembering what had happened and why there were concerned eyes staring down at her.

She was scared to know that one day maybe she won't be seeing the ceiling, she won't be seeing her closest by her bed, the happy relief leaving their heart when they see her open eyes staring back at theirs.

She couldn't help but have that constant feeling that she hated so much, despised to be more exact. Everyday and what felt like seconds she was scared to be woken up like that again.

But she didn't tell anyone, to afraid to bother them with more concern with her constant fears of never being able to see them again.

So she kept it locked inside, cause as long as she do that everyone will believe she is going to be fine.

She wished she would believe it herself.

The clock ticking was bothering her thoughts as she was laid underneath the white covers in her bed. She had woken up a couple hours ago, being surrounded by her friends and Jisoo's familiar warm embrace.

They had stayed with her for a while, staying by her side while the clock was passing away. In the end her constant thought was screaming at her to let the others leave her and go have fun with the others at the camp.

So she told them to go, that she was going to be alright by herself. Convincing them that she was more at ease alone, that she would fall into a deep slumber faster if they were to have fun and leave her under her cold sheets alone.

They did.

After what felt like an hour of arguments, they finally accepted what she wanted and left with a warm hearted smile through the door.

But it wasn't what she wanted.

Her heart was longing for someone to stay by her side because she was afraid of being left alone In an empty room, constant thoughts about being drowned in an never ending sleep. Never being able to open her eyes again.

But what her heart wanted didn't matter. She loved her friends to much to let them stay with her, seeing their smile drop with every second they were to see her state. She couldn't handle it no mater what.

So she let them go, against her heart.

She let them go, because she promises to stay awake until they come back.