happier ✓

twenty-four

"Do you think it's going to be positive?" I ask her. We're both sitting on the edge of the bathtub staring at the sink where the test lays upside down.

Her legs are wiggling up and down because of her nervousness and she bites her nails. I'm fucking nervous too. But it seems like she is almost panicking.

So I'm pulling her close to me by wrapping my arm around her shoulders and positioning her head on my shoulder. "It's okay." I tell her while kissing the side of her head.

These ten minutes are by far the longest ones in my entire life. But when the alarm of my phone goes off, no one is ready to look.

"Do you want me to look?" I ask her but she answers me by shaking her heand, gets up and stares down at it. She hesitates for some moments until she finally turns the test around.

I don't know what the result is. I just know that she clasps her hand on her mouth and starts bawling while breaking down on the floor.

I'm next to her in not even a second, holding her to me and taking the test out of her hand. 'pregnant'.

She's pregnant.

And she seems to not be happy about it. She's hysterical.

So grabbing her face, I turn it to me and make her look into my eyes. "You don't want the baby?" She can't even talk. She's shaking. "I can't raise two little kids on my own." She manages to get out.

"Why would you raise them alone?" My thumb wipes the tears from her face as she is trying to calm down. "Because you probably want us to go now."

What? "Oh, baby..." I am now placing my chin on top of her head and pull her head to my chest. "This changes nothing. Not the way I feel for you. Not the way how much I care about Nevaeh. Nothing."

"But a baby doesn't fit in your life right now. You said that yourself a few weeks back." I did say that.

"I had the opinion that falling in love or live together with a woman wouldn't fit in my life. Everything with you and Nevaeh seemed to not fit in my life. But the two of you are in fact the only thing I need in my fucking life, Ki. The only thing that changes is that there are going to be two crazy kids."

Kiara gets out of my grip and kneels in front of me, wiping her face once more. "So you won't leave me?" She asks me. "Of course I won't. I would be the most stupid human on earth if I would let someone like you go."

"You know.. Nevaeh got really attached to you." I know that. "So am I, baby." I place my pointer finger under her chin and tilt it up to kiss her on the lips. "Please don't hurt us."

"Never."

_____

We found out about the baby five days ago. I'm having my first ultrasound appointment today.

And we planned on telling Nevaeh about the baby today. Amy is at work today so we will take the chance to tell Nev at breakfast now.

Nev and I just got up and prepared breakfast, toasting some toast and putting the other things out. Nev wanted to cut up some fruits so I helped her do that.

She got some hot chocolate while the caffee machine was doing it's job. Caffeine free one for me, normal one for Ryan.

Nevaeh is kneeling on a chair in front of the kitchen counter with me behind her, cutting up some bananas and apples.

"Well if that isn't an absolutely amazing sight" I hear him from behind me and later a strong pair of arms wrap around me as he places his chin on top of my shoulder. "Good morning you two."

He nudged my face a little, asking for a kiss that he absolutely gets. "Ewwww." Is what Nevaeh says as she watches us.

We both keep our eyes closed, with our foreheads against each other as he whispers, "I love you." This automatically puts a smile to my face. "I love you."

___

"Mmmm momma this is the best toast I ever ate." My girl states while pushing the toast in her little mouth. It's the same toast with peanut butter she gets almost every day but it seems like she's on appreciation mood today.

"I'm glad you like it." Turning away from her and looking at Ryan, he nods. "Nev. can we talk to you for a second?" I ask her. She stuffs the rest in her mouth and then nods. Ryan places her to sit on top of the table between the two of us so she can look at us.

I'm wondering where my barbies are. Why didn't I take them with me? Shoud I get them?

"Do you like babies?" Momma asks me if I like babies. That's silly. "I do." Ryan plays with my hair and smiles in a really silly way which is making me giggle.

"Well then what would you say if you would get a little brother or sister?" He asks me. "I would be happy. But only if it's a boy so I don't have to share my toys!" That's very important.

"Then I guess we will have to see what it's going to be. Your mommy has a baby in her belly right now." Why would mommy have a baby in her belly? How did it get in there? "I don't believe you. Can I feel it?"

Mommy takes me off the table and places me on her lap. "You can't feel it yet, baby. It's too soon for that. But you can talk to it."

I get off of her and put my mouth close to mommy's belly. "Hello you. I'm Nevaeh. I hope you're a boy." Then, I get away from her and sit back on my chair, eating my breakfast.

_____________

I love Nevaeh.

And I hope you accept the pregnancy.

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Love you

Also THANK YOU FOR 7k reads!!!!!