admire || yang jungwon

twenty

christmas, new year's. it was a busy time for the boys, especially with the numerous performances and programs they had been called to, jian and yujin both barely had time to see them. how the boys managed to find those small periods of time for them in between was unknown, but they appreciated it as much as the boys appreciated the girls' support and company on those few times.

***

the boys had invited the girls to their filming of playground with txt and the girls were more than happy to come along. although, they were absolute outsiders, the staff members seemed to have recognised the girls from their numerous visits and were more than happy to let them be around. the girls really did not want to be in their way, so they tried to find small things they could to help out, even though most of the time the staff just wanted them to go distract the boys.

jian had been left alone for a little while yujin went to annoy sunghoon. 'annoy' was the exact words yujin used when she left the girl alone and she was more than happy to let her best friend go interact with the boy she liked. it was a bit awkward for her. being alone scared her sometimes because she either looked vulnerable or she was scared that people would judge her and think she was a loner. she tried to keep herself busy somehow, but it certainly did not work because she couldn't help but to just check the time a million times within a minute. she looked over to see jungwon, jay, taehyun and beomgyu having a conversation of their own as well as jake, soobin and hueningkai. yujin and sunghoon were bickering on the side and yeonjun, niki and sunoo were conversing as well.

"you should come over." a voice said, making her literally jump in her seat.

she spun around just in time to see heeseung bringing over a chair and taking a seat next to her.

she lightly punched him saying, "you scared me."

he smiled, "why aren't you with the others?"

"what about you?"

"i just went to the bathroom."

"oh."

"you know you can just come over right?"

"i didn't want to disturb the conversations. everyone seems to be in place in the small groups."

"come on jian. you won't disturb us. look at yujin. mind you the first thing she did was headlock sunghoon while he was talking to soobin hyung."

she laughed. then he stood up, holding out his hand saying, "come one. let's go join everyone."

she looked at his open hand and hesitantly, placed her own in his. he smiled and gently lead her towards the boys who were now all talking as a whole group. heeseung held onto her hand even when they reached the whole group, at first not knowing that two of them were glaring intently at their hands.

"hyung. are you going to let go of her hand any time soon?" jungwon piped up.

"yeah hyung you've been holding on for too long." taehyun added.

while jian was confused as to why the two boys were taking it so seriously, heeseung on the other hand knew exactly why the boys were like that. he smirked and slowly let go of her hand, only to intertwine it with hers. jian was slightly shocked, but she allowed it because it did give a sense of comfort. in that moment, she needed the comfort and reassurance that she was not being judged.

the two boys on the other hand, kept glaring at the hands intertwined, mentally annoyed for not being able to do anything about it. then jungwon moved towards the girl and immediately held her other free hand. she looked at him lowkey shocked and confused, but the boy just looked forward, slightly grumpy that his hyung was still holding her other hand.

"jungwon?"

"if you want to hold someone's hand, you should hold mine noona." he said with his cheeks puffed out.

the girl smiled at the boy who looked like a cute angry kitten. she gave heeseung a knowing look and let go of his hand. heeseung smiled because he had a bit of an idea of what she was going to do and he was proud. it felt like he was watching his child grow up. she loosened the grip from jungwon's hand, the poor boy slowly becoming sad as he felt her grip loosen. then she intertwined her fingers with his, holding onto his hand tighter than before. it took her a damn lot of courage to do that one single action, but she was glad she did. he secured his grip on her hand and brought her in closer, and the girl was more than happy to allow it to happen.

but then again, they were both unsure of their feelings. the boy was new to this whole crush thing and really, he refused to believe that he was starting to like someone. the girl on the other hand, had conflicted feelings. it was either the boy she had loved for many years and possibly still loving, or the boy who had only made her smile for the past few months they had known each other.

she was definitely in some dilemmas. having potential feelings for two boys at once, two boys who also happen to be friends, could lead to people being hurt and affected by her decisions. she didn't want to be leading them on, but then realised her actions just a few seconds ago could've been seen as leading the younger, especially if she were to realise that she liked the older.

jungwon was only happy to be holding her hand. for some reason, it made him warm. he definitely did not even think that he was being lead on, let alone him being the one leading her on, because once again, he refused to accept his own feelings plus his hyungs did it all the time to each other why couldn't he do it to her? (at least that's what he thought, though of course everyone else would probably beg to differ)

the only other person deep in thought was taehyun. the boy stared at the hands locked in together and kept stealing glances at the girl. he could tell she was definitely happy. it was the same type of smile she gave him a few years ago; he could never forget it.

but he had questions. she was all of a sudden more open and allowing of being friends with idols. he could never forget how she rejected him with the reason that she wasn't ready to face the kpop industry and the fans that could potentially corrupt her. he understood her, but now here she was, happily amongst the two groups. of course, he was proud. she was starting to let go of the fear a little, he could tell. he took another glance at the hands intertwined.

he longed for her hand in his. he wanted to call her his.

a/n:
- hi ik this plot's becoming outrageous but like lol i kinda liked this one idk why. hope you guys like it too
- im actually so scared for the members who got covid but like i believe they'll come back healthy. manifesting for a safe (?) return - wait also wtf comeback this month ???!??! bet u it's gonna be delayed but like that's just my thought lol
- so i never got to go on my rant abt loser=lover. it be already my most played song except my mum keeps getting annoyed cause it has 'fk' in it and also cause it says 'i'm a loser' lol 
- i finally caught up with all en o'clock eps wtf i love them like they're actually so precious i can't
- my like the uni entrance test equivalent thing - called hsc here - got pushed back cause of covid so hahahaha fk u covid 
- stay safe everyone !!