admire || yang jungwon

thirteen

over time, the boys and jian became a lot closer, to the extent that she relied on their company extensively. her introverted self could never bring herself to make many friends so she was thankful for the boys and of course, her best friend yujin. yujin herself had gotten quite close to the boys but it wasn't that much of a surprise. she had a lively manner and her cheery self made it possible for everyone to want to be her friend. jian admired her friend for it. she could never be like that. she was too scared, too bothered by what other people thought of her. she just smiled and moved on.

***

"jian ?"

the girl spun around, almost tripping over her own feet in the process.

"um, hi?"

sunghoon laughed at the girl's clumsiness.

"what are you doing out here?"

"um, well ..."

it was one in the morning and the girl had felt like strawberry milk. she looked back at him, sheepishly holding up her milk. the boy smiled.

"why are you out here? did you guys just get home?"

she was familiar with their late arrivals at night and their early mornings. she was so adamant on helping them maintaining their health that she had forced them to tell her when they had to wake up so that she could at least prepare for them a nice breakfast to keep them energised. it was the least she could do for her idol friends.

"nah. we were playing a game and i lost, so i had to shout food." he said while holding up the bag of snacks.

she nodded. silence. she and sunghoon weren't awkward, but for some reason, they reached the stage where they just couldn't keep a conversation going. for the girl, her socially awkward self really didn't help in such situations, but for the boy, he just couldn't seem to spit words out.

"um, should we start walking home?"

she nodded before they started to make their way back home.

the breeze was gentle, yet strong enough to annoy her. her hair started flying in her face, occasionally getting in her mouth every time she wanted to sip on her milk. sunghoon couldn't help but to glance at her. the way she looked annoyed at the wind to how her eyes sparkled when she drank her milk. just all of it made her look beautiful. she looked at him staring at her.

"is there anything on my face?"

"jian."

"yeah?"

"i like you."

she stopped.

"i like you a lot, lee jian."

"i ..."

"it's okay. i know you don't like me. i just wanted to tell you." he said whiling continuing to walk.

she started to walk again, a few steps behind him.

it was awkward. she felt bad. all this time, while her heart raced because someone else, his raced because of her. it didn't sink in instantly. the whole walk, she tried to process everything that happened and before she knew, she was already at her door.

"i'll see you tomorrow i guess."

"wait, sunghoon?"

he turned around. a small light of anticipation was evident in his eyes.

"i'm sorry."

he tried not to let his smile falter. "it's okay. i expected it."

"we're still friends right?"

"yeah ... friends."

"well, um, goodnight."

and with that she left him there. he let out the tears that he'd held back for a while.

"hyung, what's taking you ... oh hyung, are you okay?" jungwon asked as he came outside to check up on his whereabouts.

sunghoon wiped his tears away, looking at the boy who was peering at him with concern. it was the boy the girl he liked was bound to like.

"yeah i'm fine jungwon. i just thought about my parents for a moment."

the boy silently gave his hyung a hug. comfort. that's what his members were for. 

a/n:
- hi guys. let's just say i was trying to study but ig that didnt rlly work. at this rate, im not even trying to get good grades, im just trying to survive high school
- do uknow what u want to study in uni cause i dont and its stressing me out
- on a lighter note, thankyou sm for 9k+ reads !!
- pls do not ask why this chapters lowkey shit but yes :)