𝐂𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀 | ✔️

16

SAMUEL O'CONNELL

what a dickhead. he's not even going to drive her home. doesn't he know that her dad will beat her if she stays out late? doesn't he know that her dad is abusive?

fucking morons these people.

i've lost my appetite ever since i saw her with him and i haven't touched my food. i couldn't keep my eyes off her all night. could you blame me?

her primly, thin fly-aways are perfectly out as her sun-tanned, wavy hair is neatly in two braids. her sweet and luminous, alarmingly vacant forest green eyes staring directly at him as she laughs and smiles at the things he says.

it's probably not even funny whatever he says. he probably says disgusting pick up lines such as "if you were a vegetable you would be a cute-cumber." yuck that's disgusting. i would like to die now just thinking about it.

he even let her pay. who the fuck let's the girl pay after a date? an asshole would. josh is an asshole and i don't trust him. at all. his vibe is weird.

he gives me creepy, musty older brothers friend vibes. i don't know. i'm probably wrong but i have a gut feeling about it.

after he pays with her money he leaves and she sits back at her table and rests her head in her palms as she stares out the window.

knowing cecilia, she's probably counting cars until she reaches 50 and then she'll go home.

we used to do that when we were kids. once we sat on a park bench and counted cars until we got up to 1000. we'd sit there for hours, concentrating and counting like our lives depended on it. we'd get in loads of trouble by our parents for staying late but that was the thrill of it.

or during long road trips we would count how much red cars we'd pass by. or yellow cars. or blue cars.

we've already paid for our meals but we're just sitting down and ordered drinks. i didn't get anything because like i said, i lost my appetite.

a few minutes go by and suddenly, i want to leave to smoke a blunt.

"guys, i'm leaving." i tell them and get up.

"alright, see you." nathan says.

"you good" jaden mouths to me and i nod and smile.

"bye." the girls say.

"bye sammy!" ashley squeals and gets up to hug me. she pulls me in and lightly nibbles on my ear lobe in an attempt at seducing me. i'm just afraid of getting herpes to be honest.

"yeah." i say and push her off me lightly. i leave and sit on a near bench which is probably only a minute away from the cafe/restaurant.

i light up a blunt and smoke the stress away. everything's building up. my parents' divorce is just now starting to have a strong affect on me. i've come to the conclusion just now that my dads not coming home. he's not welcome anyway.

it sounds stupid but i miss him. even though we lost him months ago, he was still around sometimes. he was still welcome, it was his home and his family. i guess we should be thankful that he did that, and he should be thankful that he was caught because at least now the trash is out of our lives and he can hoe around without hiding it.

minutes go by and from a pretty far distance i see her walk out with her head down slightly as she walks really slowly my way as tahts the way to her house.

she doesn't see me because it's pretty dark out. she sees the bench that i'm on and takes a seat. she still doesn't know it's me because i know damn well she would prefer to sit next to a total stranger than me.

"smokings bad for you." she comments and still doesn't look my way. "do you want lung cancer?"

i don't say anything. it's nice to hear her voice when she's not bitching to me... or when i'm not bitching to her.

"it's okay, you can smoke if you want." she goes on, "everyone has reasons for everything, even if others can't see the reasons."

why is she talking to a stranger? even though i'm no stranger to her, right now she doesn't know it's me.

"i shouldn'tve judged you, i'm sorry." she apologises and leans back on the bench. i'm a shit person. she's perfect, look at her. the way she words her sentences, her smile, it's perfect.

"cecilia." i suddenly say softly and she quickly turns her head to me and we meet eyes. she widens her eyes and scoffs.

"unbelievable." she whispers. "why didn't you tell me it was you?"

"why were you talking to a stranger? you could've gotten kidnapped, or raped." i tell her.

it starts sprinkling down. she's wearing black leggings and a crew neck saying 'CALIFORNIA' on the chest area and i can tell she's still cold as she hugs herself tightly but winces a little as she hurts herself.

i'm confused for a second and then remember her scars or bruises that reacted to it.

i avoid eye contact. it pains me to see her like this. it pains me that i know, and saw.

"you can sleep at my place tonight." i unconsciously tell her. i wasn't thinking of saying it, but i was thinking it. i can't let her go home.

she looks up at me and smiles. a genuine smile this time and then she stops. she shakes her head and stands up and walks away.

i stand up and walk with her. "let me atleast walk you home."

"samuel," she starts and rests a hand on my shoulder which causes a feeling i've never gotten in my heart. i don't know if it hurts my heart or heals it. "you don't have to be kind to me because you feel sorry."

she continues walking and i walk with her as i'm by her side.

"my dad doesn't hit me." she says as we are still walking in the rain. her jaw is shaking due to the coldness and she is lightly hugging herself. i'm wearing a grey hoodie and a white t shirt underneath it, i take my hoodie off and give it to her as i continue to avoid eye contact. "samuel."

i continue to give it to her and finally she takes it and puts it over herself. i'm not even going to lie to myself, she looks adorable in it.

"thank you." she says after a minute of silent walking. i don't even know why i'm still walking with her. yes. i do know. i'm not leaving until she accepts my offer to sleep over. I'll of course sleep on the couch.

"cecilia, i can't let you go home."