𝐂𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀 | ✔️

10

SAMUEL O'CONNELL

i don't know what i'm doing. i don't know why i invited her to come with me. i don't know where i'm taking her.

but i do know that from what i heard, it's urgent. i can't let her dad hit her again. i can't let anyone touch her.

they're a perfect family, since her moms accident. i'll hate myself forever and i will never forgive myself for leaving her at that specific time period.

"where are you taking me anyways?" she asks as she's struggling with holding her stuff. she's carrying 2 large textbooks and a laptop with a protective ass laptop bag which is probably heavier than her.

i laugh to myself as i watch her struggle.

"what are you laughing at?!" she rhetorically asks as she raises an eyebrow. "samuel, where are we going?"

"we're getting alcohol." i say and turn my gaze down at her. "for you."

i sound like i don't believe her. and i don't. i know it's not for her, it's pretty fucking obvious. she's not the slickest person in the world.

"where are you getting it from? you're only 18."

"okay? age is nothing in this town." i tell her as we walk in my neighbourhood.

we keep walking in silence. very awkward. we arrive at my house. great... home. such a happy, stable family.

we arrive at my porch and we stop. "is there something wrong?" she asks concerned.

i avoid eye contact and just stare at the door. she widens her eyes as if she just realised something.

"oh my goodness, samuel. i- i didn't mean to bring you home if it makes you uncomfortable-"

i cut her off. "it's fine. i'll only take a minute."

she shuts up and nods her head. i take a deep breath and walk inside shutting the front door finding the whole island filled with paperwork and boxes.

dad lent the house to us and everything in it except for his things. he's going to continue paying bills for us for his kids' sake. fucking bull shit. if he cared for his kids he wouldn't have caused this to his family.

he thinks he's the one suffering. he's the last person suffering. my siblings are going to grow up without a dad who sticks around but isn't present. [😼]

and my mom. she's been so loyal and great to my father. so patient. she's been the best. she is the best but my dad is too much of a selfish asshole who only cares about himself.

my mom is out looking for a job, my siblings are on a play date with the neighbours who were kind enough to help my mom with babysitting until she's back on her feet.

i walk past my dad who is packing some more boxes.

"hey bud." he says trying to sound enthusiastic. his face is fucked, when i saw him with another woman i completely fucked his face up. he has a busted lip, black eye and i broke his nose.

do i regret it? fuck no.

i wish i did more damage.

i wish the worst for him.

i wish he becomes miserable.

i wish he leaves us alone.

i wish he was dead.

6 months he's been lying. 6 months we've been thinking he's been away because of work. 6 months when we've been thinking he's making money to provide for us, he was screwing another woman. how fucked up can you be?

how selfish? how disgusting? pathetic is all he is. pathetic and disgusting and selfish.

i ignore him and go to the basement where my mom keeps her alcohol stash. she has quiet a lot but barely uses it. i grab a bottle and don't even try to hide it and try walking out the house.

"samuel! where do you think you're going with that?" he tells me trying to tell me what to do. lol.

i turn around, anger filling up inside me. "you wanna parent now? too late, michael." michael o'connell. a shitty father and shitty person.

"samuel i didn't mean to."

i laugh. "you didn't mean to fall into another woman's vagina? filthy. that's what you and your whore are. filthy and dirty."

i don't even try to look at his face or listen to another word, i just leave.

"cmon." i tell cecilia as i walk out of the property and she follows.

"you good?"

i ignore her question and continue walking.

"samuel?"

"what?" i snap almost yelling. i shove the bottle to her. "take it and fuck off."

"you know what, nevermind. i don't need anything from you." she snaps back and storms away.

fuck.

"no, cecilia just take it. you need it."

she turns back around. "if he beats me up again, it's on you."

what?

she widens her eyes and quickly covers her mouth and i do the same.

i knew he would beat her up but when it's coming from her mouth saying it, i almost can't breathe.

"ahaha april fools."

it's may.

"is your dad-" before i can continue she quickly runs up to me and covers my mouth. i stop myself too, i don't want her to know that i knew.

"shut the fuck up." she whispers to me and looks around anxiously. "my dad doesn't beat me up, he loves me."

her eyes tear up but she quickly wipes them.

"i was just saying it out of anger." she explains and looks to the bottle. she quickly looks away and storms back off.