Give Me Therapy

Falling short.

The cold water welcomes me. It soaks immediately through the thin layers of my clothing, burning against my skin. My hair drifts elegantly through the murky water of the river, occasionally catching the light from the setting sun and casting pretty shadows here and there.

I feel my chest grow gradually tighter, and my eyes begin to sting. I smile - its the best I've felt in years.

I release a little air from my lungs and watch the bubbles rise quickly to the surface, until my vision starts to darken.

My head grows heavy and my chest burns from the oxygen trapped inside. I cherish the feeling of calm, glancing through weeds and taking mental notes on everything I see.

Until I can see nothing at all. My eyes are wide, but blind to everything around me.

My chest no longer burns - my lungs are filled with water.

I'm numb, and rapidly losing consciousness.

One final two syllable word forms silently on my lips, eventually falling short of the end and escaping, along with my life.

"Goodbye."

______________________________

The snow swirls in the lamp light, falling and floating gently to the concrete sidewalk. I watch it through the window from my hospital bed, sitting cross-legged with my hands folded in my lap.

The off-white walls of the small room seem even more confining than usual as the realisation that I'll probably never be allowed outside again sets in, and I remember how alone I am right now. I start to sing along to Circles by All Time Low as it plays in the background, not caring that the door is wide open.

"Go back to the place we knew before retrace our steps to the basement door,

I'll ask you if the rain still makes you smile

Like so much time that we spent in the fall it put colour in our cheeks while the air turned cold,

Preceding what became our bitter end..."

The start of a smile wavers at the corners of my lips. This has always been my favourite song. The song that means the most to me. This song is the one reason I'm glad I'm alive.

"Round in circles, lets start over,

Round in circles, lets start over"

Someone elses voice accompanies mine.

"Unanswered questions, would be the only thing to stop them now

He was the poet and she was the muse

But she had a pen that she knew how to use

A touch of redemption, a hint of elation

A recipe for disaster.."

We sing together, and I hear the soft smile in his voice like silk.

The chorus plays but neither one of us sing. We both cherish Alex's beautiful vocals and the wonderment of lyrics and instrumentals the band always manage to pull together to create perfection.

"Round in circles, let's start over..." The voice in the doorway sings, so softly its barely audible. But I still catch it.

I lay my head back against the white pillows, not taking my gaze from the falling snow outside.

"I didn't know you were an All Time Low fan, Lew.."