Give Me Therapy

Leaving Maisie

"Maggie, what's this about the man coming to get me?"

"What do you mean dear? Shouldn't you be in bed?" She asks, looking at me blankly. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Maisie says there was a man that came for me." I say bluntly.

Maggie's eyes flash with realisation and she folds her hands on the desk in front of her. "Yes dear, there was a man, I believe. Asked for you. I said you'd gone for a walk."

"Right? Then what?"

"He asked when you'll be back, and I said you probably wouldn't come ba-" Maggie stops mid-sentence, realising what she's said and looks at me over her glasses, scanning my face for some kind of reaction.

"Probably wouldn't come back, huh?" I ask quietly, looking down at my hands. She says nothing.

"You don't even care do you?! Why are you doing this? Why don't you just throw me out if I'm that much of a joke and embarrassment to you? I don't like it here, no one does! It's been my home for sixteen years and not a single second have you cared about me. About any of us. This is all just for yourself, isn't it? Just for you to look good. What if that was someone who wanted me? Wanted me back, even. What if it was my dad? You told him I've gone to kill myself. He probably thinks I'm dead-"

"Maybe you should be, you little bitch!" Maggie screams, throwing herself out of her chair and sending it flying across the room. My jaw drops a little, although I'm not sure why that outburst surprised me. I always knew she had it in her.

"You know what, maybe I should be. Whatever makes you happy." I whisper, turning and leaving the room. I run up the stairs to my bedroom and grab my rucksack, shoving various items of clothing into it. My noise wakes Maisie and I feel my heart break at the thought of what I'm about to do. I watch her sit up, sleepy and diaorientated. "What are you doing, Ever?" she asks, voice low and scratchy from tiredness. I open my mouth momentarily, and close it again, at a complete loss for words. What on earth do I tell her? The truth?

"Maisie," my voice cracks, "I'm going away for a while. I need to find someone. I promise I'll be back before long."

Her eyes fill with tears that glisten in the soft light coming from the window. "Ever, I don't want you to go, I don't want to be here without you," she whispers, grabbing hold of my hand. I interlock our fingers for a minute, fighting the tears with everything I have. I can't break down yet.

"Maise, I have to. You'll be fine - you've got Esmé. And I promise you, I'll come back." I say, letting go of her hand and reaching my hands behind my neck. I undo the clasp on the necklace I've been wearing ever since I can remember and pull it from around my neck. It's simple; a thin silver chain carrying a tiny heart of the same colour. It was one of the first things I bought with the first money I ever had. I put it around Maisie's neck and clumsily do it up, fighting the blur of tears and shaking hands. "That's my promise." I whisper shakily, resting my forehead against hers. A tear falls and I move away, wiping my eyes angrily and standing up. Maisie tries to stand up too but I push her back down, and I feel my heart break all over again as her face contorts with an agonizing sadness and tears begin cascading down her cheeks.

"Don't cry, kid. You'll be okay." I say softly, bending back down and swiftly wrapping my arms around her. I let a few tears fall and try to ignore the horrendous ache in my chest as the sound of her quiet sobs echo around the room. I let go of the girl I love more than anything in the world and lay her down, tucking the duvet around her gently.

"I love you Maisie, I'll keep my promise."

"I love you too. Miss you already."

"You too, Maise. Night baby girl." I whisper, letting the tears fall freely now. I stand up and kiss the tips of my fingers, before resting them on her forehead for a second. I take a few slow steps backwards towards the door, not wanting to take my eyes off her.

She's going to be okay. She's going to be okay. She's going to be okay.

I tell myself this over and over again, before suddenly I am running. I run down the stairs, grabbing my converse and not even bothering to put my feet in them before opening the door and stepping out. I run round to the side of the house and look up to the window of Maisie's bedroom. "I love you kid," I whisper, hoping she hears, before taking off down the street, as fast as my legs are able to move. The wind nips at my cheeks, wet from the tears still falling steadily. I barely see where I'm going, everything is a blur. I stop and realise I don't know where I am. It's dark and I'm alone, completely unsure of where to turn. The panic starts to set in; I feel it. I spin in restless circles, desperately looking for a sign or a place to go. There's nothing. Nothing that I can see through the tears.

And I'm suddenly grabbed from behind. A pair of hands clamp my arms to my sides and a soft voice tells me to "shhh, calm down." But of course, I can't calm down. I start shaking so badly I can't stand. Sobs tear through my body, leaving me too weak to move or try to escape. Whoever is holding me let's go and I try to make a run for it, but get nowhere. I'm spun around and the arms are around me now, my face is buried in someone's jumper and my tears are staining it.

"Ever, Ever calm down. You need to stop crying."

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Hello hello hello I'm gonna be straight out I almost cried when writing about Maisie omg I've become so attached to her and idek why SHE'S NOT REAL but asjdidbsosu I'm sorry if this sucked, I'm kinda having fun writing this while i should be studying...

I would like to say a massive thankyou to LordOfThePoptarts by the way, as her comments and ideas are awesome, and she really inspires me to write and keep this story going, so thankyou :D

anyway, its half past midnight here and I am in need of sleep, so byesie byes, ily guys. <3