Control my anger || Clexa AU

~ Chapter 21 ~

Lexa's POV

"I can't believe we're done," Clarke said as we finished the last thing about our biology project. It took us so much time and effort... and nerves. But we were officially finished. It was Friday. We went back to her house to do the last touches on it, and with pride we could finally say it was over.

We were sitting on Clarke's bed, pressed to the wall. The doors were opened, but I didn't question it, she left it this way. No one was home either way so it didn't matter that much.

I looked at her. "Gosh, you're so beautiful..." I whispered. From this close I could even see the blush creeping on her cheek after my words. She chuckled quietly and turned her head to me, with a glued smile.

"Thanks," she just answered.

Our faces were so close, it was impossible for me to not move my look from her eyes to her lips. She must've noticed as she slightly bit her lower lip.

I looked back to her eyes. "Can I kiss you?" I asked, ever so quietly, I didn't want to break this moment.

"You don't need to ask," she answered, moving forward.

Her lips captured mine, and even though she slightly surprised me by going in first, I immediately answered the kiss, moving my hands to both sides of her head.

She surprised me even more as she moved on my knees, sitting with her legs on both side of me. Our kiss started getting heated...

"OH!! MY EYES!! MY EYES!!" we heard a very loud scream and Clarke immediately jumped off me.

At the door stood Raven, because who else would've been that. She just stood there, with her both hands across her eyes.

"Raven! For God's sake!" Clarke screamed in answer.

It took her by a huge surprise. As I looked at her, I could see a slight fear in her eyes. I knew she was out to everyone about her sexuality, but I was guessing she needed a bit more time with this relationship. And I honestly fully understood that. I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell the world either.

Raven slipped her hands off her eyes and looked at us again. She was really flustered.

"Damn it, I'm sorry. But I really did not expect to walk in on you guys... making out," she admitted and scratched the back of her neck. She seemed ashamed for some reason.

I stood up and Clarke did too right behind me. We walked to her. "It's fine."

"I didn't know you guys were banging," she said.

"Oh my god..." I whispered quietly.

"Raven! We're not-- we're not banging. We're..." Clarke sighed, looked at me, and truly smiled, before looking back to kinda confused Raven. "We're together."

"OHHHH! Oh my god?! For real?" She had a huge smile on now.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "For real."

"And you can smile or even laugh?" Raven pointed at me, surprised.

My smile slipped off immediately. I made it on purpose, I put on the emotionless mask.

Raven's smile dropped off. "Oh my god... you're still creepy as hell."

Clarke just laughed.

"Raven, don't tell anybody, okay? I still haven't even told my mum, we wanna keep it private from the world for a bit more, okay?" Clarke said, as she went into total seriousness.

"Yes, of course, we fully understand."

"We?" I frowned.

Raven looked at us panicked and then Luna stepped out from behind the door.

"What the heck? You were there this entire time?"

"No, she just teleported here, Clarke." Raven looked at her sarcastically and Clarke sighed. "Of course, she was there. She's always here. Bold of you to assume that I was alone."

Luna chuckled and wrapped her arm around Raven, pulling her closer. She shook her head.

"We won't tell anybody, do not worry. But we are going out today, car cinema. You know, where you sit in your car and you have a movie in front of you played. They are playing Greese today. I know it's cheesy, maybe lame, but it's not like most of people will be actually watching it so-- do you wanna go with us?"

"With your own car, though. We ain't gonna sit there with you," Raven added quickly after Luna.

Clarke laughed. "We'll think about it." She started closing the door, but Raven stoped it with one hand.

"I don't know if you noticed but it's already getting dark outside. We're going there in half an hour."

"Okay, we will give you the answer soon." I took the door and closed it with a loud thump.

Clarke jumped away slightly, looking at me a bit surprised.

"Sorry, it wasn't because I'm angry, it's just--"

"Why are you aplogizing, Lex?"

I looked down. "I scared you."

Clarke stepped to me, took my chin and made me look at her.

"Lexa, I'm not afraid of you. You don't scare me, okay? You surprised me, but not scared me. You hurt me once, but," I put my hands up to her forehead, where the wound was now closed by a crust, and I traced it gently, "I know it won't happen again. We can work on this together. I understand that it's sometimes just hard for you to control this," she took my hands and made them into fists, "but it's all here," she moved one hand to my head, "and here," she landed on my chest, on my heart. "And it's gonna be alright. We can work on controlling it. I know you get angry when you loose control of your feelings. That's why this," she pointed at me, then her, "can be hard for you. And it's completely okay. Just talk to me whenever it gets hard, okay? Call me, no matter if it's the middle of the night, if I'm sleeping, doing something important, you call me, and I try to help you, alright?"

Clarke had this peaceful, reassuring smile on. It was so easy to believe in. The truth was that it really wasn't this easy. But it was easy to believe in at that moment. And so I did.

I tried to battle the tears that I felt coming. I closed my eyes but one tear slipped away. And Clarke's finger was already there, tracing it away. She held my face in her hands. "You really understand me..." I whispered.

She pulled me closer, connecting our foreheads.

"Anytime and I'm here, alright?" she asked, looking deep into my soul through my eyes. "Promise?"

"I promise."

But I did not hold it at the end...