LOST YOU ONCE

In the name of love ..............

Thor

The fact that tomorrow is Loki's birthday , and I had no idea how to surprise him . Its kinda nice you know sending him flowers and Going to his university just to get a glimpse of him , my own husband . Its like I'm back at juniors trying to get his attention all over again , He didn't even bat an eye at me for three months , but then their were so many students having an eye on him so I had to stand out of all of them . Yeah the flowers and cards placed in his locker and every time Loki forgets his P.E handing my shirt over .

Being far away from Loki made me realize how blessed I was and how much of love I took for granted just what I did ended up breaking his heart , love and trust he had on me .
I miss him is an understatement , I love him is an understatement , The house missed him , It was not a home without him

And it also somehow made me realize how toxic I was to him . So between ordering flowers and learning flower language and yeah trying to build a nursery , I went to therapy .

So I could make him  come back to me , to let me love him again .
1 . declaring my love to him < Seriously not gonna work >

2. Declare it to the whole world that he's my love <🧐 Seriously >

3 . classic just beg to him infront of everyone , clutch his leg and  cry forgiveness. ( This might )

So sure , its like we are back in the same situation me chasing him and running away from me and yeah I.....

                 o h god I messed it up really bad

                     really really bad , And I don't

                        think I might have a chance
 
’                 as the minutes passes I really looks

I took my phone out from my pocket the wallpaper was a candid photo of Loki walking towards his class . i misses his forehead kisses , I miss his touches , his cuddles

the questions asked my therapist replayed in my mind

" What do you think of him ?"

" He 's beautiful , smart and everything a human ever could be "

" And How much do you know about him?

" I know he hates lilies , and sea food , that he always wanted to be eco friendly , that he listens to Dua Lipa When he's sad . He likes to clean the house when he's angry , He humms while cooking , he sings in the shower when he thinks no one is listening , his favourite ice cream is Mint chocolate and Blue smurf and he prefers Mountains over beach , he's favourite author is Tennessee Williams, and that he always wanted to be on his own feet "

" okay , it looks like you know lot , so what made you divorce him"

" Its true I ordered divorce paper , but I never sighned it "

" But you did wanted the divorce ,

That was true I wanted the divorce ,But I don't want that anymore

" But I don't want that anymore " he said softly

" Why ? " the therapist asked " You got what you wanted , So why don't you want it "
" I don't know , I Love him , I don't want to let him go "

" So what does your partner wants ?"

" I don't know " he whispered truthfully

Then an idea came to me , Loki had always liked mystery he likes to solve puzzle , And yeah lets put this into action