Risking It All

20. No Peaking

When we finally pull apart, he looks like he's still worried.

"I wish I could take away all this fear we have. Neither of us wants this to end, and we don't have any intentions of leaving the relationship. That should make us feel better,"

"But it's still hard to get past it, when we've wanted this for so long."

He strokes my cheek with his thumb, and I melt right into his touch, wanting to savour every second of his warmth against my skin.

"I know. It's hard to not let the weight of it show D. Especially when you catch the tiniest little reactions. You know me too well."

"I do know you pretty well after all these years. Does it bother you when I catch the tiny things?"

"No. It's just different having my boyfriend actually pick up on those things. Other guys I've dated wouldn't have even noticed. You never make me feel bad about my feelings though, and I've never been happier with anyone than I am with you."

That makes him smile, and he leans in and kisses me. His lips so soft but so firm. I love the feel of them brushing against mine.

"Question, were you like this with your past girlfriends? The vulnerability and the picking up on the smallest of things?"

He sits back and thinks. He looks out at the water, and it feels like a couple minutes go by before he looks down at his hands and answers.

"No. I was never this vulnerable with them. I never had that level of trust with any of them. I didn't know them well enough to know their reactions to things either. Felt a lot more like walking on eggshells most of the time."

"I get that. We've always seen this more vulnerable side of each other, so when we started dating, it was just natural."

As I look out at the water, I can't help but laugh. Dylan looks over at me, and then to where I'm looking.

"Of course we're talking about past relationships and there in front of us is Marley and Kate. Two of your exes. Want to go say hi?"

I look over and he's shaking his head.

"Nope. Haven't seen either of them in ages, and we just  happen to see them together when we're now dating. Nope. Not doing it."

"Come on. It could be fun."

He just sits there shaking his head. We both watch closely to see if they happen to look in our direction, but they don't.

Kate is closest to us as she walks by. Of all his exes, I always found her the most beautiful of them all. Her straight shoulder length brown hair always looked perfect, just like it does now. She can pull off the bangs better than anyone I've ever met. Her sky blue eyes made her stand out more with the boys. Her skin was flawless. She was skinny with curves in all the right places. She played volleyball, which made her athletic and helped her keep in shape. She was about my height, and her laid back personality made her so easy to get along with.

Marley on the other hand, was something else. She had a model look to her. Long blonde hair that was full of volume, and looked great in any hairstyle. Her blue-green eyes could pierce right through you. She was Dylan's height, her long slender legs were always showcased in whatever she wore. She never seemed to be a huge fan of me, but I tried to be polite for Dylan's sake. Knowing that if I wasn't, she may push me out of his life more and more, and that was the last thing I wanted. With her on his arm, they were quite the couple. She loved to show him off. Loved to take him out anywhere and everywhere and gloat that she had him. She was the one who had pressured Dylan into having sex with her. I was ever so aware of that fact. I always got a chill when I thought of the two of them together that way. Knowing how good things were with him, made me wonder if he responded to her the same way he did me. I quickly shoved those thoughts out of my head, knowing that wasn't something that would do me any good thinking about. She was his past for a reason. I remember them breaking up. Remembering how miserable he had seemed at the end. Remember how free he seemed when he found his groove again, and how much of the Dylan I loved had come back.