Daisy II | Levi Ackerman

Chapter 34 - Trust

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[Naomi] 

"Did he ever start neglecting you, telling you to stop trying?" I quietly asked Zeke, as he looked down at me, the waning reds of the fire before us casting on his face.

He had a pensive look about him, seeming to not at all mind that I was slowly delving into the unseen depths of his mind and personality. I myself had no trouble relating the details of my own almost fatherless childhood, for my memory still consisted of tattered pieces of tapestry that I only mended with strings of retellings, from people who knew of my history. At best, I could only tell a little to a stranger like Zeke.

"There was a time when I wanted to stop trying. My father always pushed me to lengths that I wasn't sure if I could reach." He answered, eyes wandering from time to time to the dry ground. "When the day came that I knew I hit my limit, I just broke. Then I saw his face. And he was just... He looked so disappointed, of me."

My heart shrivelled inside, knowing the exact dispiriting shade in a father's face when they look down at you and realize that you fell incredibly short of what they expected you to be. I didn't want any part of myself to sympathize with Zeke, in fact I began this vulnerable conversation with the objective of having him trust me so I could use that to gain advantage later on. But now that I found so many hidden things about him that resonated with me, it took effort to bring my intention back to the subterfuge.

I think it had something to do with me just being a generally genuine person, especially when people show candidness to me first. I found no significance in dishonesty, unless it was necessary for a mission. But right now, I couldn't tell what a mission was from a chance to be human again.

He drew in a brief breath, then released it in the same way. "I guess his disappointment fuelled me to keep trying, but I never attained, not even close, what he wanted."

"He was so desperate about his own limitations that he projected his ambitions onto you." I remarked faintly, hugging myself from the sudden cold breeze.

"I guess so." Zeke answered lowly. "I could only wish he wasn't as hard on Eren. My brother is more laid-back than he was, more restrained. I once read from a Western thinker that 'the downfall of a reformer is when they've spoken-'"

"-too much in the face of the very opposition.'" I continued, nodding along as he recited it too. Zeke abruptly looked to me in equal parts surprise and amusement, making me smirk proudly. "A Treatise on Campaign and Social Change. I've read my political philosophy, Jaeger."

Zeke paused, taken aback, blinking a few times before smiling at me and tucking his elbows to his knees. "Well, at this point I shouldn't be surprised. Do you like Nottingham?"

"I think his ideas are too repressive, but he does give great advice on how to carry oneself in an environment imbued with politics." I commented. "Do you?"

"Honestly, I only read the treatise because I was bored." He chuckled sheepishly. "I'm kind of embarrassed that you seem more fastidious than me at literature when I'm the one who'd been living all my years surrounded by it."

I let out a short, faint laugh, shaking my head as I looked away from the flames; and through the indigo darkness beyond it, where some scouts had been retiring to their tents. "Even so, it's kind of a bragging right to say you read political theory because you were bored, right? Usually, it's the other way around for most people."

Zeke let out a laugh, following my gaze. "Then I guess I could give myself a pat on the back."

I was smiling then, even weakly, but as my eyes wandered around the scouts conversing, they met a sight that dimmed down my countenance. His visage seemed to be a bit brighter now that he had his sleep, and I watched as he talked briefly with Barris. Then his sharp, steely eyes flickered to me for a split-second and my pulse stopped. He looked confused that I was sitting right next to the very man I swore I was going to watch die writhing before me, but he was quick to shrug it off as if it was nothing.