Daisy II | Levi Ackerman

Chapter 21 - Long Months

852

[Naomi]

I wished all days were like autumn, or spring. Happy, carefree, simple. But then comes January, and winter did not cease to cause all the kinds of pain a cold season could possibly inflict. I had my days of emptiness; but for some reason, every year it got worse.

It started with a slip in the bathroom, a loss of balance. I was taking a bath on my own, and had put on the first layers of my garments. It was still November when it happened, and the air was beginning to get even chillier. So my limbs froze and I collapsed. It's needless to paint the drain of color on Levi's face when he saw me writhing in pain on the bathroom floor.

At first I thought it was just the cold season, and Dr. Polly confirmed this thought when she came over. Levi had called upon her the morning after I woke up unable to move a single one of my limbs, not even my fingers. The moment I opened my eyes, I thought it was the sleep paralysis episodes that I experienced during last year's depression, too. But no, I was fully conscious, and I could move everything else but my arms and legs. It was beyond terrifying.

I cried, and it woke Levi up almost immediately. I told him that I couldn't move a muscle and he stared at me in shock. He didn't waste another moment. He helped me sit up and he rubbed my legs and arms until I could feel the blood flow  into them again. Then he called Dr. Polly, and she practiced a few tests and asked questions about my condition.

All that time I was thinking just one, single, repetitive plead. Please, not again.

It was almost the end of January of 852, only two months left until my due date. It was too close for it to be dangerous, only two months left before I could finally see my Little Captain. I needed to be alright until that time. So I did everything I could to be alright. I took all of Dr. Polly's advice and I religiously followed her suggested therapy. I could not be ill now, I've had enough of it.

I usually passed my lonely days in my study, the view of the garden that was once vibrant with flowers and apple trees now replaced by thick white snow and leafless trunks. In front of the desk, I sunk into a dismal somnolence; quiet yet messy, bright and yet, dull.

I wasn't a soldier anymore, and the adjustment that I had to make after resignation did not help to fill the growing hole in my chest. Levi needed to be frequently with the Regiment, and I could not distract myself by going to the Royal Court. So I reverted my attention to what I could do inside our home. My usual hobbies.

I focused on my hands as I carved out a piece of birch wood into a small rocking horse about the size of a jewelry box. I was just finishing the arches to be installed in the bottom, carving out its curves and smoothing out the edges with my knives and sandpaper. My fingers were trembling. I could not hold the arch properly, it shook as if I was holding a rattle. But I kept on, my eyes trained on the project in full focus.

"Yes, bring some tea over." I heard Levi's voice from the entrance of the study. As he closed the door and I heard it shut, my fingers slipped and the small knife sliced a short cut on my palm, under my thumb. I yelped in reflex, but I didn't feel the pain just yet.

"Naomi, love." Levi called, walking over to me. I stared into my bleeding palm in fluster.

"Naomi!" He exclaimed as soon as he saw it, immediately kneeling in front of me to take a look. "What happened?!"

"The knife," I whimpered, as he rose up abruptly and helped me stand up. I felt my increased weight as I rose, and the almost paralyzed legs did not help. I staggered to the washroom with Levi's assistance, where he had my bloodied hand get rinsed on the sink.