Just Tell Me You Love Me (Book 1 in the Just Series) *under editing*

Chapter 37

Playlist: I Know You by: Skylar Grey

For those of you who have heard this song, then you know how perfectly it fits Arabella.

I couldn't include Skylar's version due to copyright infringement, so I chose a cover of the song instead.

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Arabella

We spent the week lost in each other's arms. Lost in our need for one another. Lost in the beauty of it all.

But now it's back to reality. The real world - where I can't escape the nagging ache I have in my heart. For a week I told myself that, I didn't need to hear the words from Massimo, but the more I spend time with him, and the more he shows how much he cares about me, the more I long to hear him say I love you.

But having him and Lia in my life, and loving them fills my heart with so much joy, and every time I feel my love for them, I almost feel like what I have now is enough. Yes, I want to hear him say he loves me. But at the end of the day is it really that important? When he shows me that he cares for me, and our family?

But then again... Am I really asking for too much? The thought bring tears to my eyes. I wipe them away quickly, and dismiss the thoughts from my head.

"Is it really that important?" I muttered. "I mean you're happy enough. You've got everything you have ever dreamed of," except Massimo's love, a voice inside me tells me.

Then I did, what I knew best. I pushed all those thoughts and worries aside, and looked forward to a life with Massimo and Lia.

I love them and I am happy. This is enough. For now.

Massimo

I feel Arabella's longing to hear me say the words I love you to her. I see it in her eyes. I saw the pain and longing in her eyes, every time she tells me she loves me. I respond in the only way I know how. I kiss her. I kiss her and we get lost in our passion, need, and want for each other.

Once again, that was enough.

It was enough for her. She never asks for anything more than what I can give.

I had fallen in love and declared my love to only one woman. Cassie. I had been certain when I said those words to her. Just as I know for certain I care about Arabella. I enjoy being with her. I enjoy having her around and God only knows, how much Lia has flourished, ever since she came into our lives.

I don't know if I love her. Nor do I know if I want to. I loved another with all my heart, and I swore I would never love again. I told myself that I buried my heart with Cassie. I had closed my heart for so long, and I forgot how it feels like to love.

I still can't help but feel like Cassie have been cheated. I have been cheated of the life we could have had together.

The house I bought for us. She didn't get to see it. It was supposed to be a surprise. I was meant to show it to her, after she gives birth, but I didn't get a chance to, because she died the day she gave birth.

When she died, I knew I couldn't live in that house and not see her. I couldn't live there and not feel the pain and the loss. I sold the house and bought another one.

Now, I'm here standing at the foot of the bed, watching Arabella as she sleeps.

I feel like someone has punched me in the gut.

Suddenly, Marco's words echoed in my ears.

She deserves love in return.

"I just don't think I have it in me," I muttered.