Just Tell Me You Love Me (Book 1 in the Just Series) *under editing*

Chapter 12

Massimo

My words were ringing in my head.

"It seems to me, that you have trouble following orders. You said it yourself. If you had just listened none of that would have happened. You were right to blame yourself." She gasped. The words were out before I could stop myself. I ignore the pain in her eyes, and continued, "I don't want my daughter's life in fucking danger, because you can't follow one simple rule...so this time you will listen, before you cause another fucking accident," I said. I couldn't stop myself from uttering those words. I was just so angry. She deliberately ignored my orders.

The look of pain in her eyes was like a punch to the the gut, but I ignored it.

I could tell, that she was close to tears, but she blinked them away.

Cazzo stronzo! Fucking asshole!

I keep replaying what happened over and over again in my head.

I shouldn't have said those things, but fuck I was so fucking angry with her. I was so fucking scared.

Everything she said...merda!

"Didn't you see the joy and happiness in her eyes..." Fuck she was right. I have never seen my daughter so happy.

Damn her for being right!

"I would die for that child. I would sacrifice my own life for her, and I will not let anything happen to that little girl..." Her words kept playing back in my head like a replay. I know she meant it. Her sincerity was eminent. It was emanating from her body.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop drowning in your guilt and sorrow, and focus on your daughter..." Is that what I'm doing?

"...she gave you the greatest gift. She gave you Lia..." Those words brings tears to my eyes.

I love my daughter and no one could ever question that. Everything I did...everything I'm doing is all for her...all because of her....but everything she said. They were true. Everything she accused me of was true. I've been keeping Lia here so no harm can come to her, but at what cost? I'm taking away her childhood.

I've been allowing self pity and my guilt rule the way I am as a father.

The truth was like a slap on the face.

This all too much! I need to clear my head. I have to fucking get out of here.

Then my door bursts open. My mother walks into my office.

"Well, that was cruel," she said, giving me a disapproving look.

"Mamma please..." I said feeling even more guilty.

"That was too much Massimo, I raised you better than that."

"I hired her to protect my daughter not put her in danger."

"Oh please. What danger? She took her to the park. Kids play at the park all the time. What harm can come to her?"

"Mother..." I groaned.

"Don't you mother me Massimo. I only met her today, and during our little talk, I could tell that she is a good woman, and that she loves Lia, as if she was her own daughter...she cares about you too. you can't control everything Massimo. Don't let what happen to Cassie hold you back. What happened to her was tragic, but it was not your fault... It was nobody's fault."

She paused for a moment. Her face softening. Then she said, "Son, I love you, but everything that Ara said, was right. You have to stop this. I loved Cassie, she was a sweetheart, but she was far too submissive. She surrendered to all your demands and never challenged you. She gave you everything you wanted. She agreed with you, when she shouldn't have. She followed your orders without question...so now, you are frustrated, that a woman like Arabella, is doing the complete opposite, and standing up to you. That may infuriate you, but it's what you need. Let go of your guilt and live. Live your life again. You're still so young. You're only 27, and you are acting and living like your dying of old age. She wouldn't want this. You know she wouldn't. She would have wanted you to go on and live your life. If yourself is not enough reason for you to live, and pull yourself out of that hole, you have put yourself in, then live for your figlia. Live for Lia. I try not to interfere with your life and decisions, but not this time Massimo."