Between two men

Chapter 26

I finally recovered a bit from past events and started from the very beginning. Of course, I got the job, and although I joined a lesser-known marketing company as an intern, it didn't bother me at all. I didn't want to be visible, only to change my life and my previous habits.

I started the next stage of my life and I wanted to firmly believe that this one would be better, because I left behind everything I knew. Now I stood before the stranger, and I had no guarantee that everything would turn out well, but my own assurances somehow kept me afloat. Until now, I didn't have to worry about having to pay my bills and expenses, because I didn't have to worry about my job, and now I've lost those assurances. But I didn't regret it.

As I mentioned, I now had new rules. Deciding for myself, being more confident, more spontaneous, and I also planned to make new friends and start dating again. Not now, but over time. Nick didn't end my life. The fact that he hurt me and hurt me did not mean that all the men were equally selfish pigs.

If I said I wasn't sorry, that I lost friends, I would be lying. Despite the unexpected events, I missed me and so far I have only met Alex. Maybe in time I would have the courage to talk to Eric in peace and find my way to him again, but I didn't plan to in the foreseeable future. And an important part of my plan was also not to see Nicholas anymore and not to think about him, although I haven't been doing so well so far. I still had it somewhere in the background of my memory, which got on my nerves.

The new job brought stress and anxiety that I needed to embrace and encourage from time to time, but no one close to me was there at such times. And again, at similar times, I felt Nick's immense loss. Every time I had to admit that I still missed him immensely, which was not good. I hated myself for these feelings because he should be the last person on the planet to be sad about, but it wasn't like that.

I haven't seen Nicholas in three weeks and we haven't even talked. I realized that it wasn't such a terrible time, but I had become a wreck in such a short time. The days seemed some longer than they used to be, so my suffering escalated from day to day.

I was just returning to my office after a lunch break, when footsteps sounded behind me, and I was just looking around when a powerful hand gripped my shoulder. I blinked in fear and blinked in the bright light in shock. That hand, of course, belonged to Nicholas. It was hard for me to tell if I was really pleased with his presence or that it was just the result of a shock, but a sincere smile really appeared on my lips, which disappeared as quickly as it appeared on them.

Suddenly I couldn't reconcile my thoughts, so I just stared at him. I had stirred emotions and had no idea how to react to them. It was a shock and a fear that I would kill him on the spot, the inability to believe that he had the audacity to show up at all, and the anger that he had sought me out. And last but not least, the joy of looking into the face of the man I loved again.

My chest heaved like a stormy ocean, and whenever I caught his gaze swallowing me, familiar chills ran through my body. We stood close together and watched each other in silence.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him instead of greeting.

"I came to see you. I think we should explain something, "he said calmly.

"The two of us have nothing more to say," I glared at her heel. He couldn't be beaten so easily and he followed me to the office. I wanted to slam the door in front of his nose, but he managed to hold it with his hand and invited him in alone. I walked slowly to my desk, threw my jacket over the back of my chair, and sat down.

"I know I screwed up, and I'm so sorry," he said.

His words hung between us and my heart broke in half again. You screwed up. You have the true truth.