Obey Me (Fanfics, Head Cannons, One shots, and more!)

Incorrect quotes #2

(Not originally mine, just some that I found and slightly re-worked for Obey Me!)

(After working .8 seconds)

Lucifer, mockingly: It was difficult, so you've just given up.

Mammon: Exactly.

Mammon, to MC: See, I told you they'd understand.

(MC during the time-loop)

MC: Umm, Mammon? Levi? Beel? Lilith? MC , laughing: I don't even know who's Lilith!

Beel: Hey, can I borrow 30 bucks? I gotta pay a cab driver. Asmo: You took a cab to school? Mammon: A cab here from your house doesn't cost $30. Beel: It does if you make the guy stop and buy you a breakfast burrito.

Belphie: You're cooking a steak in your locker? Beel: Well, I'm not gonna eat raw meat after what happened. Belphie: Beel: Stupid parasites...

(During an Anti-Lucifer league meeting)

Satan: It's not our fault! MC: Yeah, but... Come on, the least we can do is talk to them. Belphie: No, the least we could do is nothing.

MC: Guess what's in this box? Beel: Donuts. MC: No. Beel: Muffins. Mammon: No. Beel: Corn dogs. MC: No- Beel: Chocolate. Mammon: No! It's not food. Beel: Then who cares? Satan: What's in the box? MC: Oh, just some photos. Beel: Of donuts? Mammon: No!!!

Beel: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I'd just be excited to have a bunk bed. Asmo: MC: Beel: Asmo: I'm gonna tell them. MC: Don't you dare.

Simeon, about Lucifer's 100-volt security system: Couldn't that really hurt someone? Lucifer, excitedly: I hope so!

Solomon: How are you? MC: Oh, you know, still the resident family fuck up. Simeon: Yeah, well, I guess someone has to do it.

MC: So we've gotten to the point in quarantine where my partner comes home and says, "darling"- MC, pointing at a creepy looking statue on the table: "I brought home a potentially cursed item"! Solomon: The keyword is "potentially"! MC: The keyword is "CURSED"!

MC: You know what they say: shoot for the moon, and if you miss, at least you'll land among the stars. Belphie and Solomon: Or suffocate in space, I suppose.

Luke, texting Barb: [sends a voice message] Barb, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent? Luke: No, don't worry, just listen later. [later] Barb: [presses play] Luke's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-

MC, having an emotional breakdown after saving the brothers again and nearly dying: What's happening to me? Lucifer: Relax, you're just going a little cray-cray. MC, snapping a wee bit (sarcastically): "Relax, you're just going a little cray-crazy," nothing to worry about! Lucifer:

Mammon:

Levi:

Satan:

Asmo:

Beel: :'(

Belphie:

MC, staring at the void in apprehension: Well, yes, if that's all this is, cool, then.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer... MC: "Hate" is a strong word. Belphie: I have strong opinions on Lucifer.

(Mammon being caught trying to get Goldy back)

Mammon: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Person B!

Beel: So Lucifer knows about this?

Mammon, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

MC: When is Rad's prom? Levi: We don't exactly have a prom. MC: What??? Mammon: Proms are stupid.MC: I love proms! Mammon: Which makes sense, 'cause you're... you, and proms... are stupid.

Mammon: So I could just asked you out and you said "sure"??? MC: Yeah, pretty much.Case closed.
Mammon: And not get  you any type of present? Or- or money??? MC: No... Why....?
Mammon, lost in thought: I just don't understand... Why... How.... Wha-

Belphie, doing magic: I will now attempt to saw this anima- I mean person in half. MC: Neat! Lucifer: Hey, you've done this trick before, right...? Belphie: There's a trick?